ALERT

Gay Old Party will unfortunately be going on hiatus for the week due to technical problems (i.e. I have a trojan horse that has obliterated my computer). Damn porno. Check back next Monday for the return of the libertarian underwear party that is GAY OLD PARTY!

Thank You! Come Again!

Several Indian convenience store clerks were arrested after being busted in a methamphetamine sting. One problem...the clerks don't have enough basic English skills to have realized that they were selling cold medicine to drug cooks. In fact, other than ho-ho, twinkie and "This is not a library!" the clerks spoke little more English than a frog at Christmas.

While the clerks are pleading innocence based on ignorance, other Indians in the area are claiming racism.

"They want to destroy all Indian businesses," said Ms. Ahmed, whose husband is in jail. "Because they hate us, or I don't know."

Actually, we just want you to learn English so you don't accidentally sell our kids drugs and you don't get arrested for not knowing the difference between the words "illegal" and "get the hell out of my country."

Judge Roberts's Gay Past

10 years ago the right-wingnut known as Judge John G. Roberts was proving his bigoted credentials by...cross burning? Repealing civil rights legislation? Protesting at abortion clinics?

So the progressive interest groups would want you to believe as they attempt to stall Judge Roberts' nomination to the Supreme Court; but in fact, in 1996 John Roberts was advising pro bono the ultimately successful plaintiffs for the landmark gay rights case Romer v. Evans. With Roberts' help, gay activists secured a victory against an anti-gay initiative that had passed in Colorado, allowing the discrimination of gays and lesbians. Now just what is a left wing pressure group supposed to do with information like that? Oh that's right. Ignore it.

Arabs, Keep Your Daughters In!

Respect MP, George Galloway, famed son of Glasgow, notoriously liberal former Labourite, infamous heckler of the U.S. Senate, has added terrorist sympathizer to his list of accomplishments. During a trip to the Middle East, Mr. Galloway took every advantage to denounce American involvement in the Middle East, encourage a larger insurgency against Anglo-American forces in Iraq and to praise the "martyred" terrorists of Iraq.

Mr. Galloway's party attempted to minimize the MP's statements as merely re-iterating the party's stance against the taking of civilian life.

"It can be said, truly said, that the Iraqi resistance is not just defending Iraq. They are defending all the Arabs and they are defending all the people of the world against American hegemony," said Mr. Galloway, being certain to insert an anti-American jibe before his time was up. Well, we guess praising those who drive truck bombs into playing children, attack police stations and behead innocent contractors is one way to stand up against taking innocent life.

Galloway, who beat Labour party favorite Oona King in what should have been an easy win for Labour, was elected largely by the turn out of radicalized London Muslims. Certain not to disappoint London's disaffected Muslim community, Galloway told Syrian TV, "Two of your beautiful daughters are in the hands of foreigners - Jerusalem and Baghdad. The foreigners are doing to your daughters as they will. The daughters are crying for help and the Arab world is silent. And some of them are collaborating with the rape of these two beautiful Arab daughters."

What a beautiful message of peace. Your daughters are being raped by foreigners and your leaders while you just sit back and watch. It just makes me want to listen to some Bob Dylan and hit a bong. While intelligent people can disagree as to whether these AlZawahiri-esque comments were meant to stir up Arab rage against the West or praise peaceful inaction, no one can disagree that Galloway's comments praising the terrorists of Iraq is a treasonous offense his own government and a move that puts American troops in danger:

"These poor Iraqis - ragged people, with their sandals, with their Kalashnikovs, with the lightest and most basic of weapons - are writing the names of their cities and towns in the stars, with 145 military operations every day, which has made the country ungovernable.

"We don't know who they are, we don't know their names, we never saw their faces, they don't put up photographs of their martyrs, we don't know the names of their leaders."

We know he's not with us. Can we now say that he's against us?

Muslims Threaten UK Gays

According to Peter Tatchell, leader of the British LGBT organization OutRage, he and two other officers of the activist group have received death threats from Islamic fundamentalists.

The three gay activists were warned that they had been placed on a hit list and would be beheaded or "chopped up," in accordance with Islamic law. Tatchell further warned that the terrorist threats applied to gays throughout Britain. "We are
going to punish you all…The punishment for sodomy is death," warned one fanatical Muslim.

The group fears that they may have been singled out for special punishment due to their recent activism on behalf of persecuted gay Muslims. Really? Hating them for their love of freedom? We thought they hate us because of Iraq...

Those Crazy Baptists

Fred Phelps, the anti-gay leader of the Westboro Baptist Church, famed for protesting at the funerals of homosexuals, has taken his hate to a new level. The preacher and his congregants have begun picketing the funerals of fallen servicemen coming home from Iraq. At least the Left can't blame the Right for his venom anymore.


Hat tip Independent Gay Forum

If You Can't Beat 'Em, Smear 'Em

Everyone knows by now that the Democratic Party is on a crusade to prove to the Heartland that it, too, has moral values. And how have they done that? By lying about Americans who actually have moral values Sunday-to-Sunday.

Last week, we reported on an L.A. Times op-ed questioning Judge John Roberts's fitness to sit as a supreme court justice based on his devout Catholic faith. Professor John Turley, reported that Judge Roberts had confessed to Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL) that he would likely recuse himself in decisions dealing with issues deemed morally questionable by the Roman Catholic Church. Speaking for progressives (a.k.a. liberals who can't admit it), Prof. Turley deemed Roberts's answer, "the wrong answer." Actually, it was the non-existent answer.

It turns out that Judge Roberts never pledged to recuse himself from controversial cases. On the contrary, Judge Roberts actually pledged that his judicial thinking would not be clouded by his personal views. Or as Sen. Durbin's spokesman put it, "What Judge Roberts did say clearly and repeatedly was that he would follow the rule of law." Not exactly a damning statement. Barely more controversial than a bowl of Raisin Bran. Unlike the concerted smear on Judge Roberts's Catholicism. Now there's a scandal deserving of much more attention than the media's non-stories.

Recess Games

President Bush took advantage of Congress's summer recess to appoint John Bolton to represent the United States at the UN, leaving many Americans to wonder, "Well, then what is Kenny G going to do?"

Commuters' Roundup

Terror Suspects Found
London police have now arrested all 4 suspects connected with the failed July 21 bombings in London. Just one week to catch the perpetrators of what could have been a disaster. Maybe we could ask the Met to give us a hand in searching for that guy who masterminded 9/11.

And While We're At It
The Met probably will just tell us they caught these guys because they weren't randomly searching old, Welsh grannies when trying to catch Islamic jihadists.

Walking Down the anti-Zionist Aisle
Hamas has decided to show its softer side by sponsoring mass weddings in Gaza. "This is a love letter to the whole world from Hamas," claimed one bride, except instead of the usual references to fireworks, roses and undying love, it instead rhapsodized bombs, resistance and holy martyrdom. I guess promising that you'll get laid after death wasn't doing much for recruitment.

Rage Against the Machine
And you'll get fired. Gary Skoien, chairman of the Cook County Republican Party, was fired from his dayjob as Chief Operating Officer of a Chicago real estate firm after offering a $10,000 reward for any whistle blower with information on Chicago Mayor Richard Daley's involvement in city hall patronage hiring and corruption. Skoien's boss, a Democrat and vocal Daley supporter, made no secret that he fired Skoien because of his anti-Daley stance. It's charming how the Democratic Machine doesn't even try to hide its nefarious ways anymore.

Aw Shnap!
Chuck Schumer, the wily senior senator from New York, has been reaching for the mic wherever he goes to call for the White House to release all documents relating to John Roberts' past work for the Reagan and Bush I White House. It's not that he really cares about Judge Roberts' qualifications, and more that he promised the liberal groups to block whomever President Bush nominated to the Supreme Court well before the president announced his nominee. Now Stephen Calabresi, a law professor at Northwestern, is asking Sen. Schumer for transcripts relating to promises he made to block the president's nominee to special interest groups. Which is more important? Papers a young lawyer wrote defending his client twenty some-odd years ago, or secret deals a senator made with outside groups in the past three months?

Vatican Spat

After the pope delivered a prayer for the victims of recent terror attacks, Israel summoned the Vatican ambassador to Jerusalem for an explanation of why the Holy Father neglected to mention Israel in his prayer. The Israeli Foreign Ministry publicly castigated the pope for not sufficiently mentioning Israel in his prayer, claiming: " The Pope's omission of this incident cries out to the heavens."

Pope Benedict XVI responded with the Latin equivalent of "three snaps and a talk to the hand." The Holy See is not in the business of siding with states that respond to terrorists outside the boundaries of international law, Rome explained, and prefers to remain neutral in the conflict in the Occupied Territories, siding only with those who stand against all violence. Furthermore, the Vatican clarified, Israel is in no position to tell the Roman Catholic Church what its policy ought to be in any matter. Now if only Congress could do the same.