If I Could Turn Back Time

ALERT

2005-08-15T14:10:00.000-07:00

Gay Old Party will unfortunately be going on hiatus for the week due to technical problems (i.e. I have a trojan horse that has obliterated my computer). Damn porno. Check back next Monday for the return of the libertarian underwear party that is GAY OLD PARTY!

Thank You! Come Again!

2005-08-05T10:59:00.000-07:00

Several Indian convenience store clerks were arrested after being busted in a methamphetamine sting. One problem...the clerks don't have enough basic English skills to have realized that they were selling cold medicine to drug cooks. In fact, other than ho-ho, twinkie and "This is not a library!" the clerks spoke little more English than a frog at Christmas.

While the clerks are pleading innocence based on ignorance, other Indians in the area are claiming racism.

"They want to destroy all Indian businesses," said Ms. Ahmed, whose husband is in jail. "Because they hate us, or I don't know."

Actually, we just want you to learn English so you don't accidentally sell our kids drugs and you don't get arrested for not knowing the difference between the words "illegal" and "get the hell out of my country."

Judge Roberts's Gay Past

2005-08-05T09:08:00.000-07:00

10 years ago the right-wingnut known as Judge John G. Roberts was proving his bigoted credentials by...cross burning? Repealing civil rights legislation? Protesting at abortion clinics?

So the progressive interest groups would want you to believe as they attempt to stall Judge Roberts' nomination to the Supreme Court; but in fact, in 1996 John Roberts was advising pro bono the ultimately successful plaintiffs for the landmark gay rights case Romer v. Evans. With Roberts' help, gay activists secured a victory against an anti-gay initiative that had passed in Colorado, allowing the discrimination of gays and lesbians. Now just what is a left wing pressure group supposed to do with information like that? Oh that's right. Ignore it.

Arabs, Keep Your Daughters In!

2005-08-04T11:50:00.000-07:00

Respect MP, George Galloway, famed son of Glasgow, notoriously liberal former Labourite, infamous heckler of the U.S. Senate, has added terrorist sympathizer to his list of accomplishments. During a trip to the Middle East, Mr. Galloway took every advantage to denounce American involvement in the Middle East, encourage a larger insurgency against Anglo-American forces in Iraq and to praise the "martyred" terrorists of Iraq.

Mr. Galloway's party attempted to minimize the MP's statements as merely re-iterating the party's stance against the taking of civilian life.

"It can be said, truly said, that the Iraqi resistance is not just defending Iraq. They are defending all the Arabs and they are defending all the people of the world against American hegemony," said Mr. Galloway, being certain to insert an anti-American jibe before his time was up. Well, we guess praising those who drive truck bombs into playing children, attack police stations and behead innocent contractors is one way to stand up against taking innocent life.

Galloway, who beat Labour party favorite Oona King in what should have been an easy win for Labour, was elected largely by the turn out of radicalized London Muslims. Certain not to disappoint London's disaffected Muslim community, Galloway told Syrian TV, "Two of your beautiful daughters are in the hands of foreigners - Jerusalem and Baghdad. The foreigners are doing to your daughters as they will. The daughters are crying for help and the Arab world is silent. And some of them are collaborating with the rape of these two beautiful Arab daughters."

What a beautiful message of peace. Your daughters are being raped by foreigners and your leaders while you just sit back and watch. It just makes me want to listen to some Bob Dylan and hit a bong. While intelligent people can disagree as to whether these AlZawahiri-esque comments were meant to stir up Arab rage against the West or praise peaceful inaction, no one can disagree that Galloway's comments praising the terrorists of Iraq is a treasonous offense his own government and a move that puts American troops in danger:

"These poor Iraqis - ragged people, with their sandals, with their Kalashnikovs, with the lightest and most basic of weapons - are writing the names of their cities and towns in the stars, with 145 military operations every day, which has made the country ungovernable.

"We don't know who they are, we don't know their names, we never saw their faces, they don't put up photographs of their martyrs, we don't know the names of their leaders."

We know he's not with us. Can we now say that he's against us?

Muslims Threaten UK Gays

2005-08-03T12:46:00.000-07:00

According to Peter Tatchell, leader of the British LGBT organization OutRage, he and two other officers of the activist group have received death threats from Islamic fundamentalists.

The three gay activists were warned that they had been placed on a hit list and would be beheaded or "chopped up," in accordance with Islamic law. Tatchell further warned that the terrorist threats applied to gays throughout Britain. "We are
going to punish you all…The punishment for sodomy is death," warned one fanatical Muslim.

The group fears that they may have been singled out for special punishment due to their recent activism on behalf of persecuted gay Muslims. Really? Hating them for their love of freedom? We thought they hate us because of Iraq...

Those Crazy Baptists

2005-08-03T12:37:00.000-07:00

Fred Phelps, the anti-gay leader of the Westboro Baptist Church, famed for protesting at the funerals of homosexuals, has taken his hate to a new level. The preacher and his congregants have begun picketing the funerals of fallen servicemen coming home from Iraq. At least the Left can't blame the Right for his venom anymore.

Hat tip Independent Gay Forum

If You Can't Beat 'Em, Smear 'Em

2005-08-02T13:06:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows by now that the Democratic Party is on a crusade to prove to the Heartland that it, too, has moral values. And how have they done that? By lying about Americans who actually have moral values Sunday-to-Sunday.

Last week, we reported on an L.A. Times op-ed questioning Judge John Roberts's fitness to sit as a supreme court justice based on his devout Catholic faith. Professor John Turley, reported that Judge Roberts had confessed to Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL) that he would likely recuse himself in decisions dealing with issues deemed morally questionable by the Roman Catholic Church. Speaking for progressives (a.k.a. liberals who can't admit it), Prof. Turley deemed Roberts's answer, "the wrong answer." Actually, it was the non-existent answer.

It turns out that Judge Roberts never pledged to recuse himself from controversial cases. On the contrary, Judge Roberts actually pledged that his judicial thinking would not be clouded by his personal views. Or as Sen. Durbin's spokesman put it, "What Judge Roberts did say clearly and repeatedly was that he would follow the rule of law." Not exactly a damning statement. Barely more controversial than a bowl of Raisin Bran. Unlike the concerted smear on Judge Roberts's Catholicism. Now there's a scandal deserving of much more attention than the media's non-stories.

Recess Games

2005-08-01T12:02:00.000-07:00

President Bush took advantage of Congress's summer recess to appoint John Bolton to represent the United States at the UN, leaving many Americans to wonder, "Well, then what is Kenny G going to do?"

Commuters' Roundup

2005-07-29T14:44:00.000-07:00

Terror Suspects Found
London police have now arrested all 4 suspects connected with the failed July 21 bombings in London. Just one week to catch the perpetrators of what could have been a disaster. Maybe we could ask the Met to give us a hand in searching for that guy who masterminded 9/11.

And While We're At It
The Met probably will just tell us they caught these guys because they weren't randomly searching old, Welsh grannies when trying to catch Islamic jihadists.

Walking Down the anti-Zionist Aisle
Hamas has decided to show its softer side by sponsoring mass weddings in Gaza. "This is a love letter to the whole world from Hamas," claimed one bride, except instead of the usual references to fireworks, roses and undying love, it instead rhapsodized bombs, resistance and holy martyrdom. I guess promising that you'll get laid after death wasn't doing much for recruitment.

Rage Against the Machine
And you'll get fired. Gary Skoien, chairman of the Cook County Republican Party, was fired from his dayjob as Chief Operating Officer of a Chicago real estate firm after offering a $10,000 reward for any whistle blower with information on Chicago Mayor Richard Daley's involvement in city hall patronage hiring and corruption. Skoien's boss, a Democrat and vocal Daley supporter, made no secret that he fired Skoien because of his anti-Daley stance. It's charming how the Democratic Machine doesn't even try to hide its nefarious ways anymore.

Aw Shnap!
Chuck Schumer, the wily senior senator from New York, has been reaching for the mic wherever he goes to call for the White House to release all documents relating to John Roberts' past work for the Reagan and Bush I White House. It's not that he really cares about Judge Roberts' qualifications, and more that he promised the liberal groups to block whomever President Bush nominated to the Supreme Court well before the president announced his nominee. Now Stephen Calabresi, a law professor at Northwestern, is asking Sen. Schumer for transcripts relating to promises he made to block the president's nominee to special interest groups. Which is more important? Papers a young lawyer wrote defending his client twenty some-odd years ago, or secret deals a senator made with outside groups in the past three months?

Vatican Spat

2005-07-29T14:29:00.000-07:00

After the pope delivered a prayer for the victims of recent terror attacks, Israel summoned the Vatican ambassador to Jerusalem for an explanation of why the Holy Father neglected to mention Israel in his prayer. The Israeli Foreign Ministry publicly castigated the pope for not sufficiently mentioning Israel in his prayer, claiming: " The Pope's omission of this incident cries out to the heavens."

Pope Benedict XVI responded with the Latin equivalent of "three snaps and a talk to the hand." The Holy See is not in the business of siding with states that respond to terrorists outside the boundaries of international law, Rome explained, and prefers to remain neutral in the conflict in the Occupied Territories, siding only with those who stand against all violence. Furthermore, the Vatican clarified, Israel is in no position to tell the Roman Catholic Church what its policy ought to be in any matter. Now if only Congress could do the same.

Show Me the Memos!

2005-07-27T12:28:00.000-07:00

In response to Senate queries, (I just wanted to use the word "queries"), the White House released 75,000 pages of documents related to Supreme Court nominee John Roberts's tenure in the Reagan White House. Attempting to further stall hearings on what most Washington watchers have deemed an impeccable candidate for the Supreme Court, Senate Democrats are saying "that's not good enough." The papers have revealed Judge Roberts to be a thoughtful and practical legal mind, hardly the rabid right-winger that liberal pressure groups portray Roberts as.

Senate Democrats are requesting more papers relating to Roberts work in the solicitor general's office, in addition to the 75,000 pages of documents already released by the White House, hoping to find anything, anything whatsoever, that can stall the Roberts hearings. Senate Democrats already know that they will never see the papers as all living solicitors general have publicly opposed the unprecedented request as an unorthodox means of invading client-counsel privilege and not within the perview of the Senate's advise-and-consent duties.

Ralph Neas, president of the liberal group People for the American Way, explained the Democratic requests, saying "John Roberts was at the epicenter of debates on the most critical civil rights issues of our times;" because obviously Dr. King's march on Washington and the Civil Rights Act occured during the Reagan Administration.

If the White House ignores 200+ years of precedent and the advice of every Democratic and Republican solicitor general by releasing the additional documents, Democrats will have no choice but to ask for more documents to stall the Roberts hearings. Among our suggestions: his high school yearbook, the judge's Livejournal, a menu from Potbelly on 17th and L Street and the lyrics to Menudo's last album.

Sniffing Out The Infidel

2005-07-27T12:01:00.000-07:00

As an encore to the events of 9/11, Osama bin Laden attempted, in 2002, to purchase vast quantities of cocaine from Columbian drug cartels to poison the batches before shipment to the United States. Apparently Osama's evil plot to destroy American society centered on killing Wall Street brokers, frat boys, every rock musician in Seattle and the population of West Hollywood.

We kid. It certainly would be a tragedy of immense proportion if Osama bin Laden killed my broker. What's most alarming is that America's blowheads were saved from certain disaster only by the drug cartel's refusal to aid Osama bin Laden in his terrible plot. It's certainly very sobering to think that our safety in this arm of the war on terror depends on the generosity of Columbian drug lords.

Catholics Need Not Apply

2005-07-26T12:33:00.000-07:00

The L.A. Times ran an op-ed on the clash between Supreme Court nominee John Roberts's Catholicism and constitutional law. With a staunchly pro-life pope on the throne of St. Peter, can we actually trust a devout Catholic like Roberts to err on the side of liberals...er, I mean secularists...um, precedent. Yeah, precedent. If Roberts can't reconcile his beliefs with precedent, then what business does he have on the bench?

The Times ended its opinion with the explanation that, "None of this means that Roberts is unfit due to his faith," which of course means the Times thinks Roberts is unfit due to his faith. In their view, narrowing, preserving or overturning legal doctrine could be "a materially different moral choice for a devout jurist." So basically, if you're a devout Catholic, you can't be trusted to make good choices.

Other jobs we can't trust Catholics with:

Teaching (the whole evolution thing, you know)
Restaurant critic (who wants to eat at the Red Lobster every Friday of Lent?)
Medicine (might say "God bless you" to a sick atheist)
Drag queen (couldn't perform, would be too busy trying to pop out babies)
Nanny (little kids, need I say more? Exceptions made for singing Austrian nuns)

Prehistoric "Tool" Discovered

2005-07-26T09:48:00.000-07:00

Ancient Phallus Unearthed in Cave

So what you're telling me is they found Eve's dildo? Glad to know straight guys didn't know what to do down there even then.

Profiles in Classiness

2005-07-25T12:18:00.000-07:00

Pennsylvania Lieutenant Governor Catherine Baker Knoll used the funeral of a fallen soldier to protest the Iraq war.

Working the funeral like a campaign event, the lieutenant governor passed out business cards and let people know that her Pennsylvania government was strictly against the war. Now where else have I heard of wackos protesting funerals?

Commuters' Roundup

2005-07-22T15:01:00.000-07:00

Daylight Saving, a.k.a Congress Screwing With Your Sleep
In the chaos following the second attack on the London Underground and a desperately violent insurgency in Iraq, Congress has taken upon an even more pressing need by mandating an extension of Daylight Saving Time by one month. Rep. Edward Markey (D-MA) remarked, "The beauty of daylight-saving time is that it just makes everyone feel sunnier," confirming that the Democratic party is way gayer than the Republican party. Rep. Fred Upton (R-MI), the other co-sponsor of the bill, explained the effect of his legislation thusly, "Kids across the nation will soon rejoice" because they will have an extra hour of daylight for trick-or-treating proving Congressmen think they are way more important than they actually are.

Naked Tickler
Every time I defend Southerners as being far more than the yokels that Yankees portray them as, someone's gotta go out in the nude and tickle old women's feet. Police are searching for the man dubbed as "The Naked Tickler" after his sixth attack on an elderly woman's feet. But with a name like that, he should quit the forcible tickling racket and sell his story rights to Marvel Comics. There are an untold number of women waiting for a chance with The Naked Tickler.

NYPD Wants to See Your Sack
In response to the London terror attacks, the NYPD will begin searching subway passengers bags before boarding. One can only wonder what they would have done if the London bombers had hidden their bombs internally.

U.S. Heads To Soccer Gold
The U.S. soccer team beat Honduras 2-1 in the CONCACAF Gold Cup semi-finals last night. The U.S. is edging out the competition in FIFA monthly rankings, moving up past France, England and Spain to take an impressive sixth-place in the world soccer body's monthly rankings. Americans responded with a rousing, "We don't care."

Mr. Roberts's Neighborhood

2005-07-22T13:54:00.000-07:00

Supreme Court nominee John Roberts has been touring the Capitol, meeting with senators and their staffers in the run-up to his confirmation hearings next month. Some senators like Ben Nelson (D-NE) and Herb Kohl (D-WI) want to get a better impression of the president's choice for the supreme court vacancy left by Sandra Day O'Connor. Others, like Senators Ted Kennedy (D-MA) and Chuck Schumer (D-NY), are looking for any dirty secret on which to crucify Mr. Roberts. And still others like Sen. Kent Conrad (D-ND) are praying that even being seen with Roberts will clue the public onto their otherwise invisible existence.

In a meeting with Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL), Roberts managed to impress one of the Left's most strident advocates. Dick Durbin, the ultra-liberal who compared U.S. troops to Nazis and led the fight to unfairly filibuster the president's judicial nominees, emerged from his meeting with Mr. Roberts declaring he liked Roberts's answers. Quite a change from his initial characterization of Roberts as "controversial" and divisive. Even Sen. Robert C. Byrd (D-WV), one of President Bush's chiefest senate foes, has praised the president for his choice of Judge Roberts.

If Roberts can gain approval from dyed-in-the-wool Democrats like Durbin and Byrd, perhaps he can find friends among the ranks of MoveOn. Then again...maybe not.

Jonathan Chait Likes Fatties

2005-07-22T12:06:00.000-07:00

From the folks who banned the Supersize because they simply could trust Americans to choose how they wanted their intake of artery-clogging goodness comes this Bush-bashing tidbit: The (over)exercise of Power.

If you can't attack him for picking a consensus nominee, at least you can bash him for exercising more than you. Just goes to show...those Bush-bashers will find any reason. Next article: Why I Hate Bush For Getting a Bigger Milkshake than Me.

London Under Second Attack!

2005-07-21T12:05:00.000-07:00

Bombers have detonated several bombs in London's transportation system two weeks to the day after the 7/7 attacks. Some of the suicide bombers during this incident, however, ran off after threatening to blow themselves up, leaving with their bombs intact, minimizing casualties.

The head of the Metropolitan Police, Sir Ian Blair, has warned Londoners not to blame any specific group for the violence. But as much as Sir Ian might believe that anyone could be behind this, it seems pretty unlikely that the bombs were set off by a band of travelling gypsies. This has all the marks of Al-Qaeda, although since the bombers ran away, maybe the French have something to do with it.

Scotty Beamed Up

2005-07-20T13:34:00.000-07:00

James Doohan, the Canadian actor who made a name for himself playing Scotty in "Star Trek," has died at the age of 85.

Xinhua reports, and I swear I'm not making this up, that Doohan's ashes will be beamed up into space, in accordance with his wishes. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Get a Trekkie Laid fund.

Who???

2005-07-20T11:41:00.000-07:00

I got the call at 9:12pm during a late supper.
"The president has revealed his nominee. And he's a cutie!"
Not exactly the response I had expected. After coffee and dessert, I discovered that President Bush had nominated famed conservative jurist Edi -- er...John Roberts? And I was looking forward to Mardi Gras on the Hill.

John Roberts, the president's surprise pick and a judge on the DC Circuit Court of Appeals, fell under the radar of most media and legal organizations. With a judicial record dating back only two years, most information gleaned on his personal views comes from cases he argued as a lawyer defending the views of his clients. Almost instaneously People for the American Way, NARAL and other liberal pressure groups attacked Judge Roberts, citing cases he argued on behalf of clients as indicative of his personal views. Following their logic, one could also assume that Johnnie Cochran probably approved of killing your wife since he defended O.J. Simpson or that Nicole Kidman is actually a witch since she played one on screen.

After the announcement, extreme liberals in the senate immediately attempted to shoot down the Roberts nomination before it could take off. Sen. Charles Schumer (D-NY), in a startling reversal of precedent, warned "The burden is on a nominee to the Supreme Court to prove that he is worthy, not on the Senate to prove he is unworthy," negating the American belief in "Innocent until proven guilty." In double-speak, Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-CA) opined, "Without prejudging the nominee, I do believe Judge Roberts' record raises questions about his commitment to the right to privacy, protection of the environment and other important issues," effectively prejudging the nominee without ever having seen a single personal opinion written by the jurist on any of those issues. Reading from Democratic talking points, Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL) characterized Judge Roberts as "controversial," regardless of the lack of controversy among legal scholars upon announcement of the nomination.

Regardless of the nominee, the Left has been determined to destroy any Bush nominee for the Supreme Court vacancy. Though they praise her now, NARAL attacked Sandra Day O'Connor when she was nominated. Hell, they even attacked David Souter, the Court's bad-boy liberal maverick. Liberal groups are scouring Judge Roberts's record to prove that he is a threat to the Republic and are dismayed to find that not only has he represented two administrations, but also represented welfare recipients, prison inmates and racially-based preferences for Native Hawaiians. So is he a right-wing, anti-abortion crusader or a bleeding heart, multi-culti champion? Based on the paper trail, there's more evidence that he's a PG-13 David Souter, which is probably why Ann Coulter is apoplectic about Roberts.

Without a paper trail to use to personally destroy the man, Democrats are left fumbling for any reason whatsoever. NARAL and Planned Parenthood are citing one line Judge Roberts wrote as a deputy solicitor general on behalf of the Reagan Administration. Other groups have cited Judge Roberts's college membership in the Federalist Society as indicative that he is out of the mainstream, an allegation equivalent to accusing any member of the College Republicans as being unworthy of public service. People for the American Way have called Judge Roberts inexperienced, and yet the Harvard graduate has clerked for Chief Justice Rehnquist, served two presidential administrations and argued 39 cases before the Supreme Court. The consensus is that John Roberts is an uncontroversial and brilliant legal mind picked by the president after consultation with 70 senators, Republican and Democrat. This is the consensus pick and if Democrats are going to resort to attacking him for being unfit because he is a "conservative Catholic," then the real threat to the Republic isn't coming from the high court, but the party that sees religion as the ultimate threat to a great society.

Commuters' Roundup

2005-07-19T14:01:00.000-07:00

This format doesn't require me to think hard about anything or even try to write well about anything, so here I'm using it again. Enjoy today's list!

SCOTUS Alert
The President has picked a nominee to replace Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. Rumors are swirling around two hot blondes from the 5th Circuit Court based in New Orleans. Maybe they can prevent a Kennedy-led filibuster if they go all Mardi Gras during the hearings. Watch FOX News at 9 eastern for the announcement.

Colin Farrell Alert!!!
Hot Irish actor Colin Farrell is suing a former lover to prevent release of a sex tape the two filmed after the actor came down with a case of Dumbass. The actor's lawyer has claimed that release of the tape would "irreparably harm Farrell's reputation and career." Irish Curse anyone?

The Anti-Sullivan will be filing an amicus curiae brief on behalf of Farrell's lover to protect her right to, uh...free speech. Should the video end up in the Anti-Sullivan's hands, well, that's just the price one has to pay for the First Amendment.

Bloomberg is a Top
New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is poised to win this year's mayoral race by as much as 26 points according to a Quinnipiac poll released today. Indeed the mayor is on top of any hypothetical race against any Democratic nominee. Bloomberg, a Republican who has proven his conservative credentials by raising taxes, banning smoking, promoting abortion and endorsing Chuck Schumer for senate, enjoys a 72% approval rating among New York Republicans and 58% rating among Democrats. This can mean only two things: 1) 72% of New York Republicans are actually libertarians who hide their copies of Reason beneath their beds like so much cheap right-wing porn. 2) 42% of Democrats would call Jesus a warmonger if he were a Republican.

Al Gore Wants to Re-Invent TV
Former non-President Al Gore has announced that he is co-founding a new 24-hour news and information channel, Current, for the internet generation. Hosts hired for the new channel include the Gotham Chopra, son of self-help guru Deepak Chopra, and the Laura Ling, who made her name on hard-hitting MTV. You can start shaking your heads now.

The Most Inaccurate Personality Test in History

2005-07-19T00:20:00.000-07:00

Is it opposite day already? I guess drama club mascot wasn't an option...

I've Been Gone

2005-07-18T10:26:00.000-07:00

And you can thank Mr. Bill Gates for that. Is it just me or are PCs giant pieces of crap? I think I might just have been converted to the creepy society of Mac owners.

On to the blogging....
Gay Watch
The communications director of the conservative Republican senator from Pennsylvania, Rick Santorum, has revealed himself to be an out gay man. Actually, an out, hot, black gay man. Well, he didn't come out so much as he was outed by a vicious gay activist who spends his days stalking and blackmailing gay Republicans. But still, there's a big black homo working for the most conservative member of the Senate. This ain't your father's GOP.

God Hates France
London is bombed. The world embraces London. Britain reaches out to the world for help catching the terrorists. A French official deliberately leaks bad information from the terrorism task force. Britons ask "Why did we really get attacked?" France says, tsk-tsk, it's because you like America. Britain is fed up with French smugness. France gives them the finger and says "Plus you won the Olympics by bribing the IOC." God sends a plague of locusts upon France. Smite 'em Lord!

Requisite SCOTUS Blog
Remember Chief Justice Rehnquist? The 80 year-old justice with a tube sticking out his throat, cancer and an ass that just won't quit? The justice that was supposed to resign? Contrary to Drudge headlines, Chief Justice Rehnquist is holding on for the long haul. Chief Justice Rehnquist announced Friday that he has no intention of leaving the Supreme Court in the near future, making Bob Novak's psychic abilities look as weak as Bob Dole's erection (pre-Viagra).

Attempting to frame the debate over the president's nominee to replace Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, liberal senator from Massachussetts Ted Kennedy has dubbed Justice O'Connor "a mainstream conservative," an opinion shared only by him and Sen. Diane Feinstein, a woman who leans further to the left than the Tower of Pisa. O'Connor, who was not nominated to the bench as a conservative and has not been called conservative by another conservative since the fall of the Kaiser, smiles and responds "Uh, yeaaah... Conservative. Su-uure." The RNC responds by citing Zell Miller as "a mainstream liberal."

Good News from the Deficit Front

2005-07-08T12:45:00.000-07:00

The Congressional Budget Office projects that the deficit for the current fiscal year will be "significantly less than $350 billion, perhaps below $325 billion." For those of you with math difficulties, that would be $325 followed by nine zeroes ($325,000,000,000.00) as compared to $350 followed by nine zeroes ($350,000,000,000.00). While a 7% savings might be a great deal on auto insurance from Progressive, that 7% reduction equals a total $25 billion or car insurance for every vehicle in middle America -- and not the cheap liability-only insurance either. We're talking full Geico insurance on your passengers and vehicle.

While the current-year deficit is only 2.9% of GDP (as opposed to the massive 4-6% of GDP deficits in the 80s), it still reflects a major problem in a congressional budget facing increasing liabilities from Medicare, Social Security and Medicaid. The folks at Club for Growth are not breaking out with the champagne until the Republican majority gets serious about the budget and starts clamping down on runaway spending. We're Republicans: the prudes of Foggy Bottom! Shouldn't the Please Touch Museum and Father Maloney's Boy's Haven set off alarms for us?

REHNQUIST RETIRES!!!

2005-07-08T12:43:00.000-07:00

To all you bloggers waiting with bated breath to type out that headline in the next hour: Go get a real job!

Arrivederci

2005-07-08T12:32:00.000-07:00

Al-Qaeda threatens attacks on Rome.

Italy plans troop pullout starting in September.

It's starting.

London Bombings

2005-07-08T10:39:00.000-07:00

It is hard to know what to say at a time like this. Words quickly fail. 50 Britons are now dead. Hundreds more are injured and the death toll is expected to climb. It is a grisly disaster and my thoughts are with the Britons who suffer and the Britons who now must weigh the proper response to this act of war. That seems a satisfactory response.

What would be unsatisfactory would be the the response of self-interested Muslims who instead of condemning the attacks and reaching out to Britain are condemning the Anglo-American alliance and warning Britons not to retaliate.

"The Friday prayer preacher in Tehran said Britain, which has said Thursday's attacks bore the hallmarks of al Qaeda, should remember that Osama bin Laden's group was a U.S. creation."

Charming. The Lebanese newspaper As-Safir used the attacks to equate terrorism with occupation, condemning the American attempts to bring democracy to Iraq to blowing up trains and buses in the heart of London. Brilliant.

I fear that Britain will go "wobbly." John Derbyshire agrees, predicting that England will pull a Spain. With a large, restive Muslim population and scores of their co-religionists warning the UK against defending its borders against attackers coming from within the dark heart of the Muslim world, I can only see the forces of politically correct Europe turning even more strongly against the war in Iraq, abandoning the U.S. to ensure the success of a stable Iraqi democracy. Of course to leave Iraq in chaos and disarray and endless violence is perhaps the most fitting punishment for those who have attacked us in the West. Still, I pray for British grit to win over European fear. I believe that the spirit of Wellington, of Churchill and of Nelson still live on in the halls of Westminster urging men and women of honor to defend what is left of England. I believe that Cornwall to the Orkneys, Britons know that the work they do on the behalf of aid to Africa, democracy in Iraq, G8 monies for Palestine and giving trade and aid throughout the Commonwealth more than makes up for any reservations they may feel about their actions in Iraq. And I know that Britain will stay strong through this ordeal and that in the end: There will always be an England and England will be free.

UPDATE: CNN reports on Muslim contrition for the London bombings. One Islamist theorists encourages jihadists to go fight the Americans in Iraq rather than in the streets of London because ""We (Muslims) do not kill clerics, we do not kill women, we do not kill children, we do not kill trees." Huh? Trees? When did Greenpeace infiltrate Al-Qaeda?

Spotted Dick Anyone?

2005-07-05T22:00:00.000-07:00

Ever the tactful diplomat, French president Jacques Chirac took time away from his preparations for today's G8 summit to insults les Rosbifs in an anti-British roast with German Chancellor Gerhard Schröder and Russian president Vladimir Putin.

Though some of us in the gay community fail to see how anyone could dislike a culture that dines on a snigger-inducing treat called "Spotted Dick" for dessert, Jacques Chirac was quoted by the French paper Libération as musing: "One cannot trust people whose cuisine is so bad." He went on to blame France's problems with NATO on his refusal to eat haggis. Perhaps...or maybe it's that the French are a fading nation of haughty critics who think slapping a pat of butter on a measly filet mignon with soggy fries is worth a €25 price tag. I'll take my five quid Boddington's and fish and chips any day of the week, thank you very much.

Apologies

2005-07-04T14:01:00.000-07:00

We at Gay Old Party would like to make an apology to all our reader(s) for our absence in the past week. As you may know, last Sunday was the Gay Pride Parade. Wanting to take advantage of the gorgeous summer weather and scantily clad antics of a late June pride Sunday, the Anti-Sullivan attended his local parade with two of his friends: Jim and José.

Beyond this, the details are a little sketchy. There was a bar that may or may not have been playing host to a gaggle of capoeira dancers. There were rainbow-colored jello shots, which only further blurred the Anti-Sullivan's perception of time and space. It was rumored that Jim and José had once been an item, but all signs point to the fact that they do not interact well in public. As such, the Anti-Sullivan has been battling a week-long hangover called Gay Pride. But we're back, better and gayer than ever.

So happy Independence Day! Enjoy your hot dogs and start visiting us again for more gay antics!

Hug a Homo

2005-06-25T22:16:00.000-07:00

June is Gay Pride Month, or, as I prefer to refer to it, Gay Ramadan. Chelsea, Castro, South Beach and the entire state of Massachussetts break out with the rainbow flags hoisted high aloft in celebration of tolerance, love, relationships, Diesel Jeans and, let's face it, good ol' man-on-man. Several major cities will be celebrating our Eid al-Homo to mark the end of Gay Pride tomorrow; and we're going out in grand style. Floats will be parading down the street, semi-nude men dancing around a drag queen (the gay version of the Golden Calf); beads will from the sky like so much brimstone upon Sodom, and I will be taking every advantage of every open bar I can find.

Just a warning: I may be too incapacitated to blog on Monday (not that anyone really reads this anyway). So enjoy your final days of Pride Month while you still can. And if you're straight, show your tolerance and hug a homo today!

P.S. Shame on those of you who clicked on those hyperlinks expecting porn. This is a conservative website after all!

Nothing Says Ethical...

2005-06-23T09:34:00.000-07:00

Like killing puppies.

PETA charged with animal cruelty.

How Not to Steal an Election

2005-06-23T08:55:00.000-07:00

DNC Chairman Howard Dean likes to think that Republicans stole the 2004 elections even when his own fabricated partisan research shows that Republicans did not steal the election. I know, I know. It's just too hard to believe that there aren't more people out there who want a Francophile president with all the warmth of Frankenstein.

Chairman Dean is alleging that Republicans suppressed the black vote in Ohio during last fall's elections.

"It's been widely reported over the past several years that Republicans do target African-Americans for voter suppression."

Dean knows these allegations can't change the outcome of 2004; but they can change the decision in 2008. Repeating claims of voter suppression over and over again will make the allegation believable when Democrats explain their otherwise unbelievable loss in 2008, or so the thinking goes. But Howie, sweetie, it doesn't help you when your own researchers are claiming you're misrepresenting the facts:

"Where the partisan bias came from, where it went, we really have no basis for making any assertion about that and I don't believe the report makes any statements about that," said Cornell University professor of government Walter Mebane Jr.

If you're going to allege voter fraud, at least get everyone on board first.

The Democrats would probably have an easier time if they tried stealing elections the old-fashioned way. Slashing the tires on Get Out the Vote vehicles. Shooting up campaign offices in numerous states. Burglarizing campaign offices and stealing computers from the opposition's headquarters. Invading campaign offices and assaulting staffers and volunteers. Falsely alleging voter fraud. Progressives might like to look to the future for inspiration, but every now and then, Democrats might want to think about relying on the tried-or-true. Or they could try honesty for a change, but that might be a stretch.

Insincerely Yours, Dick

2005-06-22T14:52:00.000-07:00

Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL) offers yet another backhanded apology for his remarks comparing U.S. troops to Nazis, Soviet gulag guards and the men who enabled the Khmer Rouge killing fields.

Sen. Durbin's latest apology comes on the heels of a snarky quasi-apology, given Friday, in which the senator apologized for the fact that people misunderstood him, offending not only Republicans, but also the Anti-Defamation League, veterans' groups and Democrats like Chicago mayor Richard Daley.

In a prepared statement, Sen. Durbin told reporters:

"I'm sorry if anything that I said caused any offense or pain to those who have such bitter memories of the Holocaust, the greatest moral tragedy of our time."

So if you weren't a Holocaust victim and you're still angry with the senator, you need to get over yourself. The Senate's number 2 Democrat continued to blame a vast right-wing conspiracy for his political woes.

"The Washington Times, a very conservative, Republican newspaper, puts a front-page story about me on there. The White House lashes out to me, and pretty soon the mainstream media, it just follows."

Bill O'Reilly is reportedly elated that the MSM has finally decided collude with FOX News and its conservative cohorts to make up stories. Oh, and Satan is reportedly upset that hell has frozen over.

Sen. Durbin still has not taken responsibility for his offensive remarks denigrating U.S. troops fighting to prevent terrorist attacks from taking the lives of more innocent victims. As the Senate Minority Whip, he has a duty to act and speak responsibly; instead he makes inflammatory remarks that give cause to Islamist terrorists and America's detractors. Frank Gaffney makes the compelling case that Durbin ought to be removed from his leadership position. Democrats deserve a whip who takes responsibility, not one who blames his troubles on supposed collusion and conspiracies. If Trent Lott can be removed from his leadership position for making a poor joke, then certinly the time has come to dump Dick Durbin.

Jackson's Face is Toast

2005-06-21T11:13:00.000-07:00

And I'm not talking botched plastic surgery, either. BBC News reports that eBay is selling slices of toast with the pop sensation's visage burned into the bread. Sources say this is the closest Michael Jackson has gotten to a tan since 1983.

There is no word yet on whether the toast is made from white bread or wanna-be-white bread, but Michael Jackson toast points are said to be a great midnight snack when slathered with butter and taken in bed with a young boy and a can of Jesus Juice.

German Pope Eats Sauerkraut, Media Stunned

2005-06-21T09:06:00.000-07:00

Liberals are aghast at statements made by Pope Benedict XVI in a new book entitled, "The Europe of Benedict -- In the Crisis of Cultures." Secularists today were shocked by the pope's unequivocal declaration that abortion can never be deemed acceptable by the Church. Alarmed by the pope's controversial admission, Reuters even issued a humanitarian alert in response to the book's release, warning liberals of the palpitation-inducing shock.

The papacy of Pope Benedict XVI has been marked by much controversy among secular Christians for the German pontiff's commitment to making definitive statements regarding Catholic doctrine. Among other revelations that have stunned liberal Church watchers in recent weeks:

European society has its roots in post-Roman Christianity.
The Catholic Church considers militant secularism anti-religious.
The Holy Spirit is not actually a dove.
God the Father did not beam Jesus down to earth from a UFO.
Jesus did not have an Afro.

Pope Benedict allegedly considered adding a chapter about his belief that Jesus is truly God, however it was deemed too controversial for media pundits still reeling from the Church's admission that it is impolite to call the Blessed Virgin, "Mary with the Cherry," and Irish people drink a lot.

In Memoriam: Jaime Cardinal Sin

2005-06-21T06:08:00.000-07:00

Jaime Cardinal Sin, former Archbishop of Manila, has died. The Filipino cleric gained prominence during the despotic era of the Marcos regime, leading the nonviolent "People Power" movement against the illegitimate Filipino government. As news of corruption, murder and fraud, all fully sanctioned by the regime, broke to Cardinal Sin, he was moved to unleash his brand of Christian activism in defense of Filipino democracy, mobilizing over a million peaceful demonstrators to form human barricades to prevent Marcos' tanks from attacking a group of renegade generals who had defected from the regime after Marcos rigged the results of the 1986 presidential election. During four days of prayer, Filipinos combatted tanks with hymns and met government snipers with rosaries. Not content with mobilizing only civilians, Cardinal Sin pleaded with the Army, historically an organ of oppression, to link arms with the masses, translating People Power into empowerment for all levels of Filipino society. Upon Marcos' exile from the Philippines, CBS anchorman Bob Schieffer commented, "We like to think we taught the Filipinos democracy -- well, tonight they are teaching the world." In 2001, Filipinos called on Cardinal Sin to again lead them as they rised up against the corrupt regime of movie actor-turned-politician Joseph Estrada.

Cardinal Sin, elevated to the cardinalate in the consistory of 1976 by Paul VI, had long suffered from kidney disease and cancer. After Pope John Paul II's death, the Catholic prelate's illness worsened, responding to the death of his friend. Cardinal Sin was one of two cardinal-electors unable to attend the conclave that elected Pope Benedict XVI. His funeral will be celebrated today in Manila.

Durbin's Apology: "It's Not Me, It's You"

2005-06-19T22:32:00.000-07:00

In an apology that ranks up there with, "I'm sorry you feel that way" and, "I'm sorry you're angry at me," Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL) apologizes for his remarks comparing American troops to Nazi guards, Soviets in their gulags and Pol Pot's cronies in the Killing Fields by saying: "I'm sorry if my comment was misunderstood." "It's not me America, it's you." If senators were boyfriends and states were pretty girls, I'd tell Illinois to dump that no-good Dick for that hottie-next-door Evan Bayh.

Durbin further qualifies his non-apology by suggesting that anyone who was offended by his comments wasn't listening because he had never even brought U.S. soldiers into the comparison in the first place. He was only criticizing the Administration. Oh really?

"If I read this to you and did not tell you that it was an FBI agent describing what Americans had done to prisoners in their control, you would most certainly believe this must have been done by Nazis, Soviets in their gulags, or some mad regime -- Pol Pot or others -- that had no concern for human beings. Sadly, that is not the case. This was the action of Americans in the treatment of their prisoners." (emphases mine)

Maybe Americans means the Administration the same way liars means Democrats.

Anti-Syrian Forces Win in Lebanon!

2005-06-19T22:14:00.000-07:00

The anti-Syrian bloc led by Saad Hariri, son of the slain Prime Minister Rafiq Hariri, has won a parliamentary majority in the final round of voting in Lebanon. During the second round of voting, Gen. Michel Aoun, a formerly anti-Syrian exile who has since brought pro-Damascus politicians into his caucus, threatened to steal the thunder of the reform-minded forces that finally evicted Syrian troops from Lebanese soil and brought about the special elections that have unseated Syria's puppet regime.

The vote could usher in a new democratic century in the Middle East, much as the fall of the Berlin Wall rent the Iron Curtain. In celebration of these auspicious days, I've chosen not to run a picture of Saad Hariri, a rather stout man with greasy hair, and instead prefer to look to the future. Primarily with this hot young Lebanese protester in the foreground.

Democracy never looked so good.

Anxious? Pop A Pill!

2005-06-18T10:48:00.000-07:00

Swedish scientists have discovered that taking pills, even placebos reduces anxiety.

Uh, doy! Those Swedes could have saved a few million kronor if they had just asked any gay man for what we've known for centuries. Or at least since the invention of Qualuudes. Heck, they could've just taken a trip down to the Cockpit on any Friday night to see the old queens calming down on fake benzos they paid twice market for.

When will Western society realize that we are the shamans of the modern era?

L'Enfant Terrible

2005-06-17T14:09:00.000-07:00

France's diplomat-extraordinaire, Jacques Chirac, is holding the UK to task for its refusal to reduce its EU rebate. British Prime Minister Tony Blair expressed his willingness to freeze the rebate, but expressed his desire that France and Germany also reduce their CAP fund withdrawals from the EU budget, prompting Monsieur le Président to throw a diplomatic hissy-fit.

For American readers, CAP (Common Agricultural Policy) funds are the mind-boggling farm subsidies that represent 40%-50% of the EU's spending. The beneficiaries of CAP funds may comprise 1% of Europe's total workforce, but they devour nearly half of its funds. For many Europeans, CAP is an exercise in wasteful spending. For others (particularly the French), it represents a buffer against free-wheeling "Anglo-Saxon" (read Anglo-American) free market capitalism. This gross distortion of the market rewards French cows with $1661 per head in subsidies compared to $13 for cows in Sub-Saharan Africa. And while France reaps the benefit of receiving the largest share of CAP funds, urban Europeans are paying the price in artificially inflated food costs, while the global market is unable to compete with Europe's racket.

Under the current system, France benefits by redirecting funds from member states into France and her agricultural sector. It is a huge amount of money poured into France without the French citizenry having to pay. It's the perfect deal! But as the EU budget is strained with the accesion of Eastern bloc countries that are largely agricultural, and therefore eligible for a greater share of CAP funds, France is scrambling to ensure that it can keep its current arrangement with someone else footing the bill for this antiquated system.

France's negotiations over CAP funds and the EU budget represent France's peculiar notion of "diplomacy." For the French, it is not an issue of fairness, but about a way of life that is subsidized by the State; and they refuse to allow the Anglos to take that away. Every "diplomatic" offer France has made has required Britain to give up money so France doesn't have to. This is not the first time France has acted like a spoiled child.

While France castigates the UK and US for globalization and capitalism, the leftist beneficiaries of CAP funds are causing the deaths of over 6,000 farmers in developing countries which can't encourage their neighbors to fork it over (according to a study done by Centre for the New Europe). Indeed the Gaullic vision of the modern European Union is nothing if not a critique on American hegemony. France, desperate for her former gloire, has continuously foiled American diplomatic interests, attempting to hold the Americans at bay while molding the EU in its image so it might be the perfect foil for American power. An amazing 70% of Frenchmen have expressed hostile views to the U.S., levels comparable to Arab nations. And yet even as France attempts to route American interests, only 56% of Americans have expressed bemusement with French behavior. It is a testament to American goodwill that only 39% of Republicans do not like France, even after the French openly promoted John Kerry's presidency, with some Frenchmen even demanding a vote in the U.S. elections.

The events unfolding in the EU are important for Americans to understand. Hostility towards France is not a uniquely American phenomenon. Nor are we an especially Francophobic nation, even as France has stated resisting American hyperpuissance as its policy objective (with French activists going so far as to attack with bulldozers that most American of franchises: McDonald's). The French are on a tirade, demanding the UK to pay more so France can have more, like a spoiled teen asking for a new car. Bullying the UK for the Atlantic Alliance, ripping into the Eastern bloc nations for their pro-American stances, France has sought to strip us of our allies, not in order to correct our mistakes, but so that she might become more powerful. Throughout the world, France strides, puffing out her chest to show the world who's boss. Banning Muslims from wearing headscarves, meddling in African politics, all the while wielding a heavy baton emblazoned with the words: Nous sommes meilleurs. The enemies of France are growing throughout the world; but it is not America that is responsible for the rise of anti-French feeling, it's France's hyperégoïsme.

Governor Probes Schiavo Collapse

2005-06-17T14:05:00.000-07:00

Gov. Jeb Bush of Florida asks "Why did Terri Schiavo collapse?"

Hmmm... could it be because she died?

Senator Compares U.S. Troops to "Nazis"

2005-06-16T14:31:00.000-07:00

Illinois's senior senator, Dick Durbin, took the Senate floor late Tuesday night to compare U.S. soldiers to Nazis, Pol Pot's henchmen and Soviet gulag workers. Durbin, the Senate Democrats' second-in-command, becomes the highest ranking politician in the U.S. to castigate American troops, comparing them to the forces which killed 6 million Jews, 1.7 Cambodians and 2.7 million Soviet dissidents.

"If I read this to you and did not tell you that it was an FBI agent describing what Americans had done to prisoners in their control, you would most certainly believe this must have been done by Nazis, Soviets in their gulags, or some mad regime -- Pol Pot or others -- that had no concern for human beings. Sadly, that is not the case. This was the action of Americans in the treatment of their prisoners."

Durbin's comments come on the heels of recent comments by Amnesty International comparing conditions at the terrorist detention camp at Guantánamo Bay to Soviet Gulags. The Democratic senator's comments, however, go far beyond Amnesty International's metaphor. Senator Durbin compares U.S. soldiers to irregulars who killed millions of innocent peoples on behalf of tyrannical despots. By not making a distinction between U.S. guards interrogating terrorists who kill Iraqi civilians, obstruct Afghani democratizers and threaten to kill innocent Americans, by not making a distinction between them and mercenaries who take life simply because they can, he gives fodder for the enemies of America's interest.

American troops are engaged in a war to protect the lives of innocent Americans, Iraqis freed from the heel of tyranny and Afghanis with the dream of liberty. And while the tactics used on terrorist masterminds like Mohammed al-Qahtani may skirt the edge of acceptable, including the repeated playing of Christina Aguilera, poking him in the chest with a finger and annoying him with satirical puppet shows, he was given medical care when ill, hospitalized and allowed time to recuperate when exhausted by questioning, provided with religious articles and prayer time and fed with far more food that most people in his country would have daily. The concentration camps, the gulags and the killing fields of history erased the humanity of its prisoners. Innocent civilians went into their cells to die. For the Democrats' second-ranking senator to compare U.S. soldiers to history's authors of death is a shame, deserving a decent man's apology.

Lalala We Can't Hear You!

2005-06-15T11:18:00.000-07:00

Liberal protesters at Santa Monica College took it upon themselves to drown out Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's commencement speech. The protesters, part of the graduating class of 2005, were incensed by ballot initiatives that Governor will let the people of California decide.

In unrelated news, Iraqi insurgents have been attacking Iranian towns in order to undermine the upcoming federal elections. At least 10 have been killed, and the attacks are expected to continue. The insurgency, while localizes in Iraq, has brought together a diverse group of Sunni Muslims with a long history of violently opposing elections: both in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Anyhow, back to our leftist graduates and their vociferous opposition to any differing points of view or special elections. One would think that college graduates would be able to tolerate different opinions and hear them out. You would think college graduates would be able to allow someone to speak to an assembly without catcalling and whistling every time he uttered a word. But alas, how can you expect maturity and intellectual rigor from the modern, liberal university?

Gay Tory in Leadership Run

2005-06-14T14:07:00.000-07:00

British news media are reporting that Alan Duncan is in the running to become the first openly gay leader of the Conservative Party. I could hardly believe it until Mr. Duncan explained the reasoning behind his campaign to shepherd the Tories:

"Marks & Spencer was a fantastic brand in good times but if you have a lousy CEO and lousy knickers you don't do well. Like M & S we need both a good CEO and better frilly knickers.

Yup, he's gay alright! Even more so than Michael Portillo, the former member of parliament for Kensington and Chelsea, who admitted to engaging in homosexual love affairs in college, while still not calling himself gay, prior to his run for the Tory leadership in 2001. Of course Mr. Portillo lost the leadership contest to Iain Duncan Smith, and unless Mr. Duncan proves to have more up his sleeve than a copy of "Unzipped," he likely will lose the leadership contest, as well.

The Tories and the Republican party have had a very intimate relationship over the past quarter century with each influencing the other, strengthening the hand of Thatcherites and emboldening the conservative inheritors of the Reagan Revolution. Let's hope that the GOP can look across the pond to the happy sight of a broad-based and inclusive party welcoming everyone even into its highest echelons. Just ignore the fact that Tories haven't won a general election since 1997...

Hat tip: Another Gay Republican

Race Relations

2005-06-13T14:55:00.000-07:00

After watching tv today, it's become apparent that my article on race relations in the 21st Century has had an impact. In my previous entry, I asked the African-American community for a celebrity trade, and it appears they've made an offer. I just don't think the White community wants it.

You know what? You can just keep him.

Dark Days at the DNC

2005-06-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean must be running out of material if he has to reach back to legislation from 1965 to criticize Republicans. At a Rainbow/PUSH Coaltion conference in Chicago, Chairman Dean blasted Republicans for not sufficiently supporting the 1965 Voting Rights Act (a piece of legislation supported by over 80% of congressional Republicans, opposed by a much more significant number of Democrats). At issue, Howard Dean is angry that President Bush hasn't committed himself to reauthorizing an act that is already perpetual. Only certain provisions of the act require extension: among which, a provision that guarantees government-paid interpreters for voters speaking every language from Spanish to Maltese and another provision that mandates federal intrusion into state law in historically segregated states, regardless of whether or not such states have made improvements in race relations in the past 40 years. How mandating interpreters for speakers of Hmong helps African-Americans is pretty iffy, but what's sadder is that Howard Dean thinks blacks are stupid enough to think that whitey is waiting in the shadows to rob 'em of their rights. Please, the only thing white folk want to steal is Tiger Woods. Come oooon, you've got Terrell Owens, Sammy Sosa, and most of the NBA draft. At least give the honkies back golf.

Christina Aguilera Used to Torture Detainees

2005-06-12T09:59:00.000-07:00

"The Gulag of our times" also tortured prisoners with satirical puppet shows and dripping water.

If Christina Aguilera can be used to break a prisoner's soul, just imagine what Cher could do...

At Least He Didn't Call Us Straight...

2005-06-10T13:59:00.000-07:00

What is to be made of Howard Dean's latest remarks that a lot of Republicans "have never made an honest living in their lives," and that "they all behave the same and they all look the same, it's pretty much a white, Christian party"? A few Democrats have condemned Chairman Dean's hateful speech like the moderate Sen. Joseph Lieberman, Gov. Bill Richardson, Sen. Joe Biden and, well, that's it. For the most part, Democrats have stood up for Dean and his confession to "hate Republicans and everything they stand for," even when all they apparently stand for is being white and Christian (does that mean he hates white Christians?).

The Democratic leadership has gone so far as to criticize Republicans for too vocally objecting to Howard Dean's characterization of their party. When Ken Mehlman, a Jew, objected to Dean's remarks, Democrats dismissed him. Arkansas' Democratic Party chairman, a white Chrstian, responded to Republicans by going one step further and calling them "Shiite radical Republicans", for some reason making Shi'a Islam insult-worthy and adding confusion to the Democrats' insult machine: is the GOP the white Chrstian party or the party of a mystical Islamic sect? We're still not sure why the Democrats think practicing Shi'a Islam is wrong, but we're wondering if the Council on American-Islamic Relations will criticize the DNC for smearing Muslims or will just shrug it off the way good Democratic minorities are supposed to.

No word yet on how Condoleeza Rice, a black, female cabinet member, Elaine Chao, a Chinese, female cabinet member or Janice Brown, a black, female judiciary appointee, have reacted to Howard Dean's white-washing of their race. Judge Henry Saad, the first Arab-American nominated to the federal bench, has been conspicuously silent on Democratic smears as he does not wish to antagonize Senate Democrats who plan to filibuster his nomination to the bench and have gone so far as to insinuate that he is a terrorist, in order to prevent him from sitting on the federal bench. All we know is that the leader of the Democratic Party now thinks that the 40% of Hispanics who voted for President Bush, are now white. Olé!

Republicans Hate The Poor

2005-06-10T11:08:00.000-07:00

Which is why the Republican administration has struck a deal with the UK to erase the debt of poor nations. The deal ensures that poor nations that make reforms committing their countries to democratic freedoms and sound economic policy will be given a fair chance to participate fully in the global market. Tyrannical despots will not be allowed to pocket the benefits of debt cancelation.

DATA, Bono's lobbying organization, has praised the Anglo-American accord. One doubts, however, that activist groups stateside will give the president due credit for achieving extensive debt cancellation. Just doesn't fit with the whole "Republicans hate the poor" routine.

Porn Star to Eat Out...

2005-06-10T00:35:00.000-07:00

At the White House! Porn star Mary Carey, whose 36DDs were made known to this gay voter during her run to replace California governor Gray Davis in 2003, will be dining at the White House during the National Republican Congressional Committee's President's Dinner. Her chaperone, porn king and self-described Schwarzenegger Republican Mark Kulkis, assures us that the duo will be on their best behavior: "We're not going to show up with coke spoons around our neck."

Hmmm...and I thought we were just a party of boring white Christians.

Kerry the Genius

2005-06-08T21:42:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there was a man of Massachusetts residency, who took to the podium to announce his candidacy for the presidency. Democrats rallied around him. "Bush is an idiot!" they cried with fervor and glee. "But John Kerry is smart! And cares about you and me!"

He waxed poetic about Descartes and war. Middle America fell asleep; the man was a bore. He promised he wouldn't let the gays marry, this affable, this genius John F. Kerry. And yet HRC thought he was the man for them, so they told the Globe, Democrats can crap all over gays, and HRC still won't call them homophobes.

Saddam was captured, Baghdad brought low. And still they claimed George W. Bush was slow. He re-won the presidency, and more! enlargd his party; but still George W. Bush just wasn't a smartie. Not like John Kerry who had cousins in France. That man earned his Yale degree with nuance.

With nuance, indeed, for you see, John Kerry defined his genius with a big, fat D. Four of them, in fact, that supposedly brilliant class act. He blustered and he wailed, "George Bush is stupid! Vote for me, I am smart!" And yet his grades were lower! that lying, good-for-nothing old fart.

MoveOn

2005-06-03T14:05:00.000-07:00

Our favorite activists on the Left are it again. These progressive warriors for modernity have sought inspiration for their new Supreme Court campaign from -- where else? -- the 19th century Know Nothings, an anti-Catholic, nativist movement that sought to preserve America from papist domination. Desperate to save the judiciary from folks with "very, very deeply held beliefs," MoveOn has drudged up the old canard wherein the pope uses his lay minions to manipulate American political life.

I can see why they're so afraid. I mean, just consider how much success the pope has had with preventing the war in Iraq, ending the death penalty, getting people to stop having pre-marital sex and the triumph of his War on Masturbation. What I can't figure out is why MoveOn hasn't been more supportive of the Minutemen preventing illegal immigration from Mexico. I mean, those Mexicans are a bunch of crazies! Praying to Mary; having large, close-knit families (with mothers AND fathers!); going to church on Sundays. These people actually listen to the pope! I mean, next thing you know these people will start opposing gay marriage. If we don't stop him now Pope Benedict will have his Catholic Brigades teaching our kids Latin and banning Big Macs on Friday! Oh dear.

Hope for the Hopeless Hetero!

2005-06-02T21:04:00.000-07:00

Finally! A club I can belong to: Parents and Friends of Ex-Straights. Are you with the queers?

I'm getting all my friends t-shirts.

From Gay Orbit

A Better World

2005-06-02T17:57:00.000-07:00

In an eloquent speech to the United Nations in February 2003, French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin urged the member states with Gaullish flair to resist the U.S. and war in Iraq. With typical modesty, de Villepin stated, "In this temple of the United Nations, we are the guardians of an ideal, the guardians of conscience." And here I thought that building on First Ave was a temple to wasting money on peace-keeping-missions-cum-sex-junkets and acting as guardian to sexual predators (his excuse that his co-worker misunderstood his friendly gesturing is perhaps the lamest ever. Maybe flicking your tongue between two fingers is friendly in Holland, but that ain't cool stateside).

French musician Arnaud Fleurent-Didier has immortalized de Villepin's antiwar address in a song entitled Un monde meilleur ("A Better World," which you can hear here. Now that de Villepin has become Prime Minister, the song has become quite popular on French radio. But why did Fleurent-Didier compose this ode to France's "Gardien des Idéals" in the first place? Was this relative unknown just playing around with his sound mixer? Was he just that inspired? "It was a great opportunity to make him loved by young people!" he told Public Radio International. Oh silly me. I forgot he was the Bob Dylan of our times. French women might not get fat, but their men's egos certainly could use a little deflating.

Ismail Merchant

2005-06-02T14:25:00.000-07:00

The Islamic world lost a towering figure last week. The Economist today published an obituary for Indian filmmaker Ismail Merchant, who died May 25. His production company, Merchant Ivory, introduced the world to newcomers like Hugh Grant and Emma Thompson, making them famous through lavish period pieces such as Howard's End, The Europeans and A Room with a View, examining the intersections of class and modernity. Through his lens, he gave us a world of unparalleled beauty, a stark contrast to the world depicted by today's political Muslims of jihad, triumphalism and endless violence.

Though a devout Muslim, Merchant did not seek to destroy ideas that were otherwise haram. His 1986 E.M. Forster adaptation Maurice, based on the eponymous novel, introduced the world to Hugh Grant and gave us one of the most poignant depictions of same-sex attraction on the screen. In today's world, it is hard to imagine a gay Muslim repeating what Ismail Merchant did with his life partner, James Ivory, in producing an honest and sympathetic Maurice.

Ismail Merchant lived a life of deep spirituality and stirring artistry. He lived his religious faith proudly, surviving the upheaval of the partition of India and witnessing the Islamic revolutions that swept across the world in the 70s, but lived it with an emphasis on the spirit rather than the sword. His death leaves a void in the Islamic world that will be hard to fill. But in his stead, he has left a stunning breadth of works for us to remember him by. And for that, we can only say "Thank you, Mr. Merchant. You will be missed."

Just Say Nee!

2005-06-02T14:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, the folks who brought us the Maastricht Treaty soundly rejected the proposed EU Constitution by a margin of 62-to-38. The French, who normally react to European integration like a dog licking itself, refused to ratify the constitution by a margin of 55-to-45. This when France has been one of the main architects of European integration since the inception of the European Coal and Steel Community in 1951.

The reckoning of the elites in Brussels has been a matter of great import in European newspapers, but also within the American media. It's just such a shame when Americans get it wrong.

For many in the liberal media, the no vote is a reflection of European dissatisfaction with "Anglo-Saxon" capitalism: free markets and free peoples. Richard Bernstein explains to above-the-crease readers of the New York Times that a revolution is brewing across Europe against liberal economic reform. The French electorate, indeed, struggled against proposed regulations lengthening the work-week from its present 35-hours and the threat of weakening the promise of cradle-to-grave welfare; but the no-vote weakened only Jacques Chirac's coalition of welfarists. It opened the doors of Elysées to Nicolas Sarkozy, a free marketer. In Germany, CDU leader Angela Merkel is poised to become the next chancellor, promising to enact Thatcherite reforms that will weaken labor unions and increase economic competetiveness. Holland, already ruled by Christian Democrats, has been experiencing a rising conservatism spurred by the libertarian populism of the slain Pim Fortuyn.

More deeply, and beyond narrow interests of anti-neoliberalism, the forces of "No!" are capitalizing on the "democratic deficit" in supranational European politics. No, the French don't want to work 40 hours a week, but more importantly, they don't want Brussels to force them without hearing them out first. The proposed Constitution, supposedly a guarantor of rights in the vein of the US Constitution, comes to a whopping 349 pages. The US Constitution ends in the middle of the fourth page. Additional protocols and declarations bring the founding documents of a united Europe to 852 pages. If that doesn't say faceless bureaucracy, I don't know what does.

Rather than freeing the individual states of Europe and reforming the supranational institutions to reflect the desire for democracy in Europe, the Constitution binds the peoples of Europe more tightly to Eurocrats in Brussels. It is a document that has more to say on shipbuilding in Malta than on habeas corpus. It is the prodigious expression of Euro-style micromanagement. Nations once fully invested in further integration are turning Euroskeptic with the realization that the lack of democracy is effectively silencing their voice.

Europe wants to build itself into a federal system that can counterbalance the U.S. in a unipolar world. The constitution is designed to do just that, specifying even a national anthem. But Eurocrats lack accountability; they lack an understanding that constitutions enshrine liberty, not fishing off the coast of Spain. For them, the constitution enshrines the power of an elite technocratic circle. Until power is shifted from top to bottom, European dreams of a closer and more perfect union will remain forever illusory.

Revelations

2005-06-02T11:19:00.000-07:00

91-year old former FBI second-in-command, Mark Felt, reveals to Vanity Fair that he is Deep Throat. Since Watergate was well before my time, I don't really care, but thought you might. When it comes to Deep Throat, there's only one for me.

Impeaching Bush

2005-05-31T12:23:00.000-07:00

Ralph Nader, a most decidedly unsexy Lebanese protester has hit hard at the administration calling for an impeachment of President George W. Bush and Vice-President Dick Cheney in today's Boston Globe. Why? He's unhappy with the administration's Iraq policy and since Ralph Nader hasn't been able to convince the American people to side with him on anything aside from the crapiness of Chevy Corvairs, he'd rather just impeach the president than abide by the dictates of the electorate.

The premise of Nader's argument rests on his assertion that the President manipulated intelligence to make the case for war on Iraq and his repeated use of the word "quagmire," which obviously makes whatever he's talking about evil. Let's ignore for a second the fact that EVERYONE IN THE WORLD thought Saddam Hussein possessed weapons of mass destruction. Let's also ignore the fact that CIA Director George Tenet assured the President that this was a "slam dunk." So now all we have is the intelligence given to the President. And according to Ralph Nader, the President sexed up this intelligence because he came to the conclusion that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction the same way Nancy Pelosi did. And Sen. Hilary Clinton. And Sen. Carl Levin. And Madeline Albright. And Al Gore. And Bill Clinton. And Ted Kennedy. And John F. Kerry (when he wasn't believing that Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction after he had voted prior to his previous vote which wasn't in breach of....oh whatever!). They saw the evidence. And all these Democrats came to the same conclusions. Obviously they must have been manipulating the evidence to back a Republican president's war 3 years on down the line to screw over Ralph Nader's election campaign.

The President made a mistake in his assessment of the credibility of American intelligence capabilities, a mistake made by most politicians on both sides of the aisle. It is a mistake I called in 2002. It is a mistake I derided in 2003. And it's a mistake I understood when I supported the President for re-election in 2004. After all, Iraq's WMD program was a mistaken belief held by most governments across the globe. President Bush was just the only one who understood such a threat endangered the United States.

The fringe left continuously asks, "Did the president mislead the nation," as Ralph Nader does in his opinion piece. Time and again, the answer is no; but try reasoning with a leftist and all you get is asinine quotations of Marx and Green Day. If Ralph Nader and his crew wants to start gaining points with the electorate they need to give us ideas and stop bitching about libelous arguments they lost 3 years ago.

Just Say Non!

2005-05-30T10:53:00.000-07:00

International Mr. Leather ends its run in Chicago without France picking up a single medal and on the same day France votes against ratifying the EU Constitution. Coincidence? I think not.

President Chirac seems to love meddling with elections so much (the no-can-lose Constitution referendum; the foregone conclusion 2004 US elections, etc.) that at least meddling in the IML pageant would result in a conclusion kinder to the world's eyes. At least judging by the winners.

Trackback
France Rejects E.U. Constitution (Financial Review)
International Mr. Leather (IML Site)
John Kerry's Foreign Endorsements (Intellectual Conservative)

Unrelated to Newsweek...

2005-05-27T13:59:00.000-07:00

According to several liberal bloggers is the explosion of anti-American action in the Muslim world culminating in protests held today in several Muslim countries. Protesters carried signs denouncing alleged mistreatment of the Qur'an by U.S. guards at Guantánamo. Of course if you're a Democrat or get a paycheck from Newsweek or live in a bubble (which Manhattan arguably is), this has nothing to do with false allegations published in the May 2 edition of Newsweek.

Protesters in Lebanon, benificiaries of the administrations democratization policy in the Middle East, have vowed to destroy the White House, while chanting "America is the biggest Satan." I can only hope that Osama bin Laden made first runner-up.

Activists of a different sort bombed worshippers at a Muslim shrine in northern Pakistan. No word yet on whether mullahs have issued a fatwa on which is worse, accidentally dropping a Qur'an at Guantánamo Bay or blowing up Qur'ans and a congregation of Muslims at prayer. Somehow, I'm not expecting to hear from them anytime soon.

Anchors Aweigh!

2005-05-27T10:35:00.000-07:00

If there's one thing that says gay and Republican, it's that gaudy celebration of fit young men and national defense known in New York as "Fleet Week." It's the one time of year that you'll see gay men in Chelsea openly talking to men in bell bottoms (normally a sad state of affairs limited to back rooms in Jackson Heights).

This year New York will welcome sailors from 15 different nations allowing men from 15 different nations a chance to get swindled by Pakistani merchants hawking plastic Statues of Liberty off the South Street Seaport. Hey, if it's souvenirs they're looking for, they could do worse by visiting Chelsea and bringing back a little Super AIDS with them.

If the patriot in you is standing at attention, you just might be a gay Republican.

The Week Ahead

2005-05-22T22:28:00.000-07:00

Here are the stories that will top the agenda for the upcoming week:

The U.S. Senate will vote Tuesday on the nomination of Priscilla Owen to the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals. The vote comes after a series of Republican compromises were rejected by the Democratic leadership. If the Democrats refuse to give the President's nominee the courtesy of an up-or-down vote by continuing to abuse the filibuster in preventing the exercise of the Senate's obligation to advise and consent, the Republican leadership may be forced to call for a vote on the "constitutional option," barring the Senate from further manipulating the filibuster as an extra-constitutional means to obstruct the work of the Senate.

French voters will head to the polls next Sunday to vote on ratification of the proposed EU constitution. Disenchantment with President Jacques Chirac has caused the wildly pro-European French to mobilize against the constitution, fathered largely by Valéry Giscard d'Estaing, a former French president. While President Chirac has spearheaded a large scale media campaign to drum up support for the constitution as the sole means of solidifying the disparate nation-states of Europe into a supranational United States of Europe that could act as an effective counterbalance to the U.S., his effort seems to have failed. Chirac and even his opposition will be campaigning fiercely to save the constitution, revealing the many cracks in the Fifth Republic.

The American failure to extradite Luis Posada Carriles, a Cuban dissident in exile, to Venezuela to face charges of terrorism will continue to cause hempisheric tension. Mr. Posada Carriles stands accused of terrorism for a 1976 airline bombing. The U.S. has not moved on Mr. Posada Carriles, allowing Cuban dictator Fidel Castro to accuse the U.S. of having a double-standard on terrorism suspects. The Bush Administration's inaction threatens to weaken their stand against terrorism by allowing Castro to abuse the situation, portraying the U.S. as protecting a terorrist, and has allowed leftist Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez the luxury of embarassing the United States by threatening to "review relations" for the U.S.'s flouting of extradition treaties. Look for Castro and Chavez to raise the volume in trying to advance their anti-American views to a sympathetic Latin American audience.

Congressional opportunists, looking to score points after their Terri Schiavo gaffe, will continue to push for federal funding for destroying embryos to harvest stem cells for research. The research, opposed by many Americans as a utilitarian destruction of human life, remains controversial as alternative sources for stem cells, such as fat or fetal blood, are available as ethical sources that do not necessitate the taking of life. The President has threatened to veto the legislation, utilizing the first veto of his presidency to protect life. Democrats continue to obfuscate on the issue, falsely accusing the president of banning stem cell research and ignoring the links between harvesting embryos and human cloning.

Newsweek...Again

2005-05-22T22:20:00.000-07:00

In the States, Newsweek sticks to stories that are merely anti-military and inflame the Muslim masses. But I guess in their international editions, they have the liberty to bash America freely and openly, as in this cover that proclaims America dead. At least we can count on the Japanese not to riot over this one.

From Riding Sun via The Museum of Left Wing Lunacy

So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye!

2005-05-22T19:59:00.000-07:00

Politics in the western world is usually a pendulum that swings between conservative and liberal in unison. The gloomy 70s saw the advance of liberalism in President Carter, Prime Ministers Wilson and Callaghan in the UK and Chancellor Helmut Schmidt in Germany. The advance of liberalism of course led to stagflation and an economic nightmare that paved the way to the conservative revolution led by the Anglo-American alliance of Reagan and Thatcher, coupled with Helmut Kohl's Christian Democratic Union in Germany. In the 1990s, the pendulum swung again and a new breed of liberals came to power, advocates of the so-called "Third Way," a philosophy of progressive governance expoused by Bill Clinton, Tony Blair and Gerhard Schröder. And now it seems the Third Way is finally meeting its inglorious end.

American liberals have decried the strength of a resurgent conservatism in America that has dominated national politics for the past five years. George W. Bush was, after all, an accidental president. The 2000 election belonged to Al Gore and the Third-Way-loving New Democrats. But election after election, the American people have continued to send Republicans to Washington, strengthening the president's hand and effectively rejecting the Third Way promises of the Clintonistas heading the Democratic Leadership Council, the minority leadership of Congress and the Democratic National Committee.

Recently, the backlash has come to roost at Number 10, with Prime Minister Tony Blair's New Labour failing to repeat their amazing successes, losing seats to the Tories. Britons are waiting for the disgraced Third Way leader to make room for his popular Chancellor of the Exchequer, Gordon Brown, to take the reins and steer Britain down a new path. By the time Tony Blair relinquishes power, it may well be too late for New Labour. as well, with his fallen standing in parliament and his days at Downing Street numbered.

The tide of conservatism is, however, not limited to the Anglo-Saxon countries. Voters in Germany's most populous state, North Rhine-Westphalia rejected Schröder's Social Democratic Party (SPD) on Sunday (German graphic here). A dazed Chancellor Schröder has responded by calling for early elections, spelling the certain end of his Red-Green coalition. Germans had already tired of SPD's Third Way offerings of economic stagnation and high unemployment by the 2002 elections. The CSU (Bavaria's answer to the CDU: same party, different name. Don't ask...) seemed poised to win the chancellery with Edmund Stoiber, Bavaria's popular governor. The tables turned, however, when a desperate Schröder discovered a political message that could win with voters: anti-Americanism. He backed away from his diplomatic gestures towards the U.S. during the leadup to the War in Iraq and harpooned the American leadership, winning the election, not on the issues important to the welfare of Germany, but on the backs of American soldiers. And unless Chancellor Schröder can find another way to bash Americans, the upcoming elections will offer the conservative Christian Democrats the belated victory that was theirs in 2002, spelling the death of the Third Way in Germany and creating a powerful conservative political alignment of the U.S. and Germany that could usher in a greatly strengthened German-American alliance, especially if the post-Blair Labour party takes its cue from the Liberal Democrats and adopts an anti-American tack. The victory of conservatism in Germany will have a much greater effect on the future shape of the E.U., American relations with Europe and the future of a democratic Middle East than most people today can recognize.

Newsweek Update

2005-05-20T09:37:00.000-07:00

The Times of London reports news that Muslim backlash against Newsweek's allegations that U.S. guards desecrated the Koran has reached an astounding level of hate.

Led by a man on a megaphone, they chanted, "USA watch your back, Osama is coming back" and "Kill, kill USA, kill, kill George Bush". A small detail of police watched as they shouted: "Bomb, bomb New York" and "George Bush, you will pay, with your blood, with your head."

Other protesters chanted "Desecrate today and see another 9/11 tomorrow."

The stalwarts of the Left have been fuming mad over the coverage of the response of Muslims to the Newsweek un-story, not the content of the Muslims' response, mind you, just the coverage. In response, they have attempted to refocus attention. Margaret Carlson in the L.A. Times says forget Newsweek, if it's a liar you're after, then look to the White House. David Corn tells The Nation readers that the media's coverage of fake stories that seem to damage only Republican administrations isn't slanted to the Left because Mike Isikoff wrote a story about Monica Lewinsky 7 years ago, and even if his editors refused to publish the story, the point is that he criticised High Lord William Jefferson Clinton (blessed be his name!), which makes him totally unbiased. Jacob Weisberg in Slate exonerates Newsweek for full culpability and lays the blame on Bush foreign policy. Even though Muslims have explicitly threatened to repeat 9/11 due to allegations of Koranic desecration.

Newsweek and its supporters cannot be allowed to get away with this redirect. There are Muslims in the street threatening the safety of our shores because of an inaccurate article based on shoddy evidence. They even admit it! What greater proof does the Left need to show that media bias is not only dishonest, it's dangerous?

Newsweek's News Weak

2005-05-17T13:40:00.000-07:00

When the dean of liberal news, Dan Rather, reported on a false story alleging President Bush had lied about his service in the National Guard, no major harm was done. While many partisan Democrats took Rather's story and ran with it, the president's supporters were able to point out in a matter of hours the many flaws with the National Guard Story. The greatest harm done was to the credibility of the major media, and rightfully, Dan Rather resigned his anchor's chair at the CBS Evening News. Many of the Left were sent reeling, attempting to deny the obvious bias behind Dan Rather's report and the partisan motivations of the segment's producer. Democrats unified behind the mantra that Dan Rather made a mistake, but an adversarial press is necessary to report the truth that the Bush Machine tries to distort.

But what happens when that adversarial press, reflexively hostile towards Republican administrations and encouraged by the talking heads from MoveOn and the DNC, overreaches and falsely reports on a story that initiates a violent jihadist spasm in the Islamic World? Is it finally alright to condemn a hostile media's abuse of the truth?

The May 9 issue of Newsweek reported that US guards at Guantánamo had been pressuring detainees to talk by desecrating the Koran, going so far as to flush one down the toilet. The response in the Muslim world was swift --- thousands of worshippers poured out of Pakistani and Indonesian mosques chanting "Death to America" and burning flags; allies of the US, Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Malaysia among others, promptly condemned American actions --- and equally deadly. Rioting killed nine in Afghanistan within 3 days of the Newsweek story reaching Kabul.

Newsweek has since retracted its story; but at least 17 people have already died with scores more injured in the violence sparked by the controversial fiction. Afghan clerics are calling for a jihad against the U.S., threatening the fragile democracy that is beginning to take root in Afghanistan. After months of sustaining losses, the Taliban has been able to use the Koran story and spin it into a recruit-garnering myth. All the good will the U.S. had built with humanitarian missions to tsunami-torn Indonesia has been lost to a virulent and widespread anti-Americanism. Muslims from London to Lucknow now believe they have confirmation that the U.S. is engaged in a War Against Islam. All because of Newsweek's rush to judgment.

The damage to American relations with the Islamic world is inestimable. Even with the Newsweek retraction, the violence has yet to die down. Instead the unrest spreads as coffee shops throughout the Muslim world buzz with talk of American abuse and hate and crusaderism. Just check the American press! Newsweek lied; people died. Is the press ready to admit that something has to change?

EXTRA! EXTRA! Newspaper Promises to Stay Liberal!

2005-05-13T18:22:00.000-07:00

The current owners of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Lee Enterprises Inc., have promised the sellers, Pulitzer Inc., that they would maintain the Post-Dispatch's liberal slant for at least 5 more years. What got Lee Enterprises to agree to such an unusual promise? Pulitzer Inc. demanded in their sales contract that the purchaser guarantee to maintain the paper's politics even after Pulitzer sold the paper to a new corporation. I thought that corporations are supposed to be evil minions of the far right...

Impotent Italian Faces Fine

2005-05-13T10:39:00.000-07:00

An Italian man must pay restitution to wife for impotence, Italy's high court has ruled. Wow, talk about kicking a man while he's down. The man's gone, in Margaret Thatcher's words, "all wobbly," and now he has to pay his wife for damages? How did this happen? Hasn't he heard about Viagra? Or Levitra? It's not his fault Bob Dole can't talk about his mad hot sex life in Italian.

We Americans think we're lucky to have a right to privacy that allows us to engage in consensual sex acts in the privacy of our own homes -- well, unless you want to use a dildo in Alabama. But barring that, Justice Kennedy has decided that God doesn't have a problem with a little manlove, or any love for that matter, or actually, maybe he might, but it's really none of our business. So all's well in the free world, right?

Wrong! In Italy, the Supreme Court has ruled that there is a right to sexuality, citing the wife's "fundamental right to fulfilment." So if a woman is hard up because her husband is soft down, she can sue him. Forget Justice O'Connor's rather liberal application of the word "right" to doing everything from exercising your right to vote to your right to a date from the Manhole. The Italian constitution guarantees the right to fulfilment! Either Italian women are especially orgasmic, or there are millions of Italian men who are breaking constitutional law by being 5-minute wonders. Judging by the looks of those naughty boys on the Italian Supreme Court, I think it's the latter.

Is it just me or do they look like they came straight out of "Eyes Wide Shut"?

Dem Leader Leaks Secret Info

2005-05-13T10:13:00.000-07:00

Most political leaders like to use their power to make rules. Harry Reid likes to break them. Earlier this week the Democratic minority's leader in the senate broke with longstanding traditions of respect for the Executive and called the President "a loser," while talking to a group of high schoolers. We're not sure if JV quarterback, Timmy Scanlon, will let President Bush sit with the cool kids at the lunch table anymore. But we do know that Sen. Reid ignored the calling of his office and debased it in a partisan smear meant to...well who knows what his goal was? To impress the cheerleading squad? He was talking to a group of high schoolers, not the Washington press corps. His lack of tact could not accomplish much.

The esteemed Democratic leader, however, has upped the ante in his ongoing feud with the White House by leaking top-secret information from an FBI file on Henry Saad, a Bush nominee for the federal judiciary. The Washington Times reports that Reid took to the senate floor and departed from his prepared statements to announce that Saad's sensitive FBI file was problematic. He further advised the audience to "go upstairs and look at his confidential report from the FBI," if they wanted confirmation of the nominee's problems.

Such an information leak violates standing Senate rules, not to mention decent ethics. Senate rules stipulate that any senator who discloses secret or confidential matters of the Senate, such as the contents of a secret FBI background check, are liable to expulsion from the Senate. A Memorandum of Understanding further limits access to such privileged information to the judiciary committee and a nominee's homestate senators. Saad is a Michigan appellate court judge. Reid represents Nevada and does not sit on the judiciary committee. But somehow Sen. Reid got access to sensitive information and now Saad is forced to walk with suspicion hanging over his head thanks to Reid's remarks.

Democrats have been foiled in their attempts to thwart the democratic process through their obstructive measures. The filibustering of judicial nominees will come to an end as early as next week with the support of a majority of senators and Americans throughout the country. In response, Democrats decide to engage in a smear campaign on decent judges with the strong backing of the American Bar Association by revealing the character of secret FBI files. It is true that American politics has reached a new low; but it isn't Republicans who are breaking the rules. It's the Democrats.

Man U Goes American

2005-05-12T13:54:00.000-07:00

BBC News is reporting that American businessman Malcolm Glazer has purchased a controlling interest in Manchester United, Britain's premier soccer club. Manchester United, once home to David Beckham (a.k.a. the only soccer player Americans know), now joins the illustrious Tampa Bay Buccaneers among Mr. Glazer's holdings.

The Daily Mail reports that Man U fans are incensed. Rightfully so. Glazer threatens to saddle Man U with massive debt, raising ticket prices to make up the difference. Moreover, making the Buccaneers the sister team for Man U is only a bigger insult to the English ego. Maybe if we paired them up with the Cowboys or even the Ravens, they wouldn't be mad. But no, we gave them the Buccaneers, further diluting what it means to be English.

Runaway

2005-05-11T08:58:00.000-07:00

Don't like the way your life is headed? Afraid of growing old and responsible? Even worse, of having kids? Don't like your fiancé? Would you rather go on a narcissistic spree through the country? Well then, have we got the deal for you! Introducing the all new Runaway Bride Action Figure: the doll every irresponsible liberal will want for their daughters!

Why should a young woman have to settle down with a good Christian man from Georgia? I mean, seriously! He's a born-again virgin. Weird! And why should a young and independent women have to settle down to a life of responsibility? So what if all the guests have arrived and all the reservations are made. Girls just want to have fun, and that's just what your action figure intends to do! With realistic joint articulation and inflated sense of self, your doll can jog through the Georgia countryside and straight to the Greyhound Depot to catch the first bus to liberation! Watch her hold her head up high, proudly showing off her handcrafted breasts in a VEGAS BABY crop top. Notice the close attention to detail in features such as her individually formed teeth and authentic sense of insecurity!

But every good time has to come to an end, and your action figure comes complete with a miniature blanket to throw over her head when the tv cameras come. Watch your daughters squeal with delight as they make her walk through the airport covered with her makeshift burqa. Teach them the lesson every parent wants their child to learn: it doesn't matter what you do, just don't be sorry!

Harry Reid Unrepentant

2005-05-11T08:31:00.000-07:00

For calling the President a loser. No, sorry Senator, that would be one John F. Kerry (did you know he was a Vietnam vet?). And this is the Senate moderate with whom we're expected to negotiate on judicial nominations?

This Is What Theocracy Looks Like

2005-05-05T11:13:00.000-07:00

It looks like this. Well, if you're a Lib anyway. Let's face it folks, with the GOP ascendant, theocracy has made a comeback in America. Virginia legislators are set to let Jewish and Muslim students pray in a school if they want to. But that's not the problem, this law also lets Christians pray. Their prayers threatened the religious freedom of our country for nearly 200 years, how can we slide back and let them destroy what the Supreme Court hath wrought? Or what I thought it wrought. Even scarier, Christian senators are voting like -- can you believe this? -- Christians! Manhattan Shakers, well Manhattanites who are shaking in their boots over the re-election of the "Taliban wing of the Republican party," have even dedicated a website to the rooting out the religious zealots who threaten our minds and bodies.

Well, if Christians picketing a state-funded production of a play that denigrates their God as an angsty homosexual who has orgies with his apostles is a sign of the rising tide of theocracy, what do you call it when when Muslims demand that an editor be traded up by the courts so the mob can kill him for publishing a historian's article questioning the parentage of Mohammed (see the BBC for full coverage)? Huge majorities in states as diverse as let-'em-die Oregon and apple-pie Ohio are waging a "jihad" against gay marriage, just like the Saudis who in April, 2001 sentenced five homosexuals to 2,600 lashes and imprisonment or the Iranians who have executed an estimated 4,000 homosexuals since the Revolution. Can you imagine, churchgoers are now actively expressing their interest in the judiciary and politics? I thought only black Christians were allowed to be politically involved. What are good secularists to do?

Howard Dean might want people of faith to believe that his party is the true party of "moral values," but how are the faithful supposed to believe a party whose members launch websites like Theocracy Watch or who compare Christians trying to save the life of an arguably minimally conscious woman with no DNR to the Taliban, whose concern for women is limited to how hard they should be beaten for exposing an arm. Dean's party is one which accuses Christians of turning America into a theocracy based on something as seemingly non-sectarian as the tax code, that is forcing workers to dispense abortifacient drugs against their will and whose standard-bearer, the New York Times accuses the Senate Majority Leader of waging a religious war for addressing the concerns of social conservatives via satellite during a church-sponsored event on discrimination against the religious in the judiciary. Meanwhile Muslims in Nigeria are waging an actual religious war by killing non-Muslims, burning churches, raping women and implementing Koranic law while the Times scarcely bats an eye.

Don't get me wrong, I support Jerry Falwell as much as I support ordering a rare steak at Denny's, but leftist huffing over the Religious Right is a bit tedious. There is a theocracy, but not in the United States where football players aren't allowed to bend a knee without the ACLU breathing down their back, where the mayor of New York is attempting to prevent an inner-city group from meeting in their public school home because they are evangelical Christians, where Catholic prelates are slammed by elites for enforcing canon law. Theocracy is the domain of states like Saudi Arabia, where rights are not guaranteed except to those men who share the Faith. Theocracy threatens not only liberty, but life itself. For all the Religious Right's foaming at the mouth, Pride parades will take to the streets next month like never before , Muslims are free to worship and get glowing coverage on any Bill Moyers program and Sponge Bob is still weirding out Christians across the South. It's time for the Left to get serious about theocracy and start fighting it in those places it actually exists.

Democratic "Originalism"

2005-05-04T05:16:00.000-07:00

Republicans on Social Security: Save social security from insolvency by cutting benefits for the wealthy to protect the benefits of the poor while allowing all workers to invest a small portion of their social security accounts in a protected market, granting them the opportunity to reap the market-driven awards that exponentially grow the social security savings of federal workers.
Democrats on Social Security:

Republicans on Energy: Reducing American dependence on foreign oil by modernizing petroproduction in the U.S. by exploring American oil reserves and opening the first new oil refineries since the Carter administration. Lower costs by encouraging the development of new nuclear plants. Encourage clean fuel technology by expanding tax credits currently applicable to hybrid and fuel-cell vehicles to include clean diesel technology.
Democrats on Energy: Huh?

Republicans on Middle-East Peace: Refuse to settle for tyrannical governments that hinder the spirit of the people and crush the aspirations of a Muslim community yearning to be free. A peaceful and stable democratic Iraq will encourage the flowering of peace throughout the region as is shown by the headway made in democratizing Egypt, Lebanon and Saudi Arabia. The U.S. will be a promoter of freedom and friend to the people.
Democrats on Middle-East Peace: Frizzle frazzle!

Republicans on Social Programs: Community-based organizations with a knowledge of the people they serve are more effective than large government bureaucracies. Federal money must be allowed to flow equally to secular and religious community service organizations to effectively stem the growth of poverty and to encourage the downtrodden. By refusing to discriminate on the basis of religious belief, we will open funding to the majority of community organizations and a larger cross-section of society.
Democrats on Social Programs: La la la, I can't hear you!

Republicans on the Judiciary: A strong and independent judiciary is necessary for the protection of the constitution. The opposition has claimed ownership of the courts, populating it with activists who have achieved legislation from the bench that they cannot get from the proper political bodies. This cannot continue. Democrats, approve our judges!
Democrats on the Judiciary: Republicans "are threatening to claim ownership of the Supreme Court and other federal courts, hoping to achieve political results on subjects like abortion, stem cells, the environment and civil rights that they cannot get from the proper political bodies" (Andrew Cuomo, former governor of New York). Democrats, protect our judges!

Cute. Just when I thought the Democratic party was totally of ideas, they come up with one. Oh wait, that's right, they stole it from our playbook. Still, it's cute that the Democrats think stealing our ideas will convince the Americans that our judges who have sided with Roe v. Wade, protected the Civil Rights Act and never even judged a stem cell case will be more activist than the judges who mandated abortion on demand, abolished school prayer, invented a constitutional right to privacy and gay sex, discovered a constitutional protection for race-based quotas and banned the Pledge of Allegiance. Which is worse: a Democratic party devoid of ideas or an inoriginal Democratic party that can't get its facts straight?

Pat Robertson Smiles on Rudy Giuliani

2005-05-02T12:42:00.000-07:00

The L.A. Times reports that Christian Right leader Pat Robertson thinks former New York mayor, Rudolph Giuliani, would "make a good president."

The Evangelical leader joined Traditional Values Coalition head Lou Sheldon on ABC's "This Week," commenting on Republican '08 prospectives. While Sheldon was cool towards Giuliani, Robertson's nod to Giuliani signals that the 2008 race will not necessarily pit religious conservatives against the rest of the Republican Big Tent coalition. Robertson continued on to dismiss Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist's prospects, stunning given Sen. Frist's recent efforts to court the Religious Right with his handling of Terri Schiavo and Democratic obstruction on judicial appointments. But in another nod to the political Center, Robertson also praised Fairfax County moderate Sen. George Allen's (R-VA) presidentiability.

The significance of Robertson's nod to Republican moderates Giuliani and Frist cannot be overestimated. Giuliani, a pro-abortion rights, pro-gay social liberal hews closer to John Kerry that George W. Bush on many issues. Sen. Allen, while respectably Republicans, threatens to be the vote that loses the "constitutional option" for Republicans concerned with Democratic abuse of the filibuster. For all the consternation towards the Religious Right, Robertson's acceptance of a President Giuliani is like Jesus accepting Al Bundy as God the Father. It's Simon praising Garfunkel as the superior musician. It's Paris becoming friends with Melissa all over again. Can we look forward to a Giuliani-Hagel ticket to please every member of the GOP? Time will tell...

Best Simpsons Quotes Ever

2005-05-01T19:56:00.000-07:00

Homer: How much can you afford to pay me to let you stay?
German tourist: I have $50 a week to offer you.
Homer: That little? What about all the water you will waste with your bathing and to wash your clothes?
German tourist: Uh... this is not, believe me, this is not an issue.

German tourist: Problem number 35 with America: no universal health care. Number 36: no metric system. What is this? The time of Charlemagne? Answer me! Answer me now!

Homer: Now to take out the Eurotrash!
German tourist 1: (fleeing as Homer chases them out) Now where else can we go to spend our parents' money and look down on the Americans and criticize them?
German tourist 2: To Disney World!

Oh those smug Europeans!

The Truth Behind Pedophilia

2005-04-29T16:55:00.000-07:00

In February 2004, John Jay College of Criminal Justice published a landmark study on the extent and scope of pedophilia in the Roman Catholic Church since 1950 (available here). While the major media and liberal groups have largely faulted conservative teachings on celibacy and the male-only priesthood for the outbreak of child sexual abuse, the John Jay study found that the vast majority of priests accused of abuse were ordained during the age of Vatican II, the liberal council that had as its aim the modernization of Roman Catholicism. Seminaries of the period taught courses on sexuality from a progressive standpoint, watering down traditional Catholic teachings in favor of contemporary sexual mores. During the "conservative" papacy of Pope John Paul II, traditional sexual teachings made a comeback. Accordingly, priests ordained during this period were accused of abuse at a rate similar to that of priests ordained during the reign of Pope Pius XII, a man often called "Hitler's pope" by liberals. The media made little mention of the findings of the John Jay study preferring to continue feeding the flames of anti-clerical sentiment by attacking Catholic teachings on sexuality, celibacy and the family especially after the election of Pope Benedict XVI (a.k.a. "God's rotweiler" to readers of the New York Times).

Moreover the media have continued to portray child sexual abuse as largely a Catholic phenomenon. A research study completed by Penn State professor Philip Jenkins found that the rates of pedophilia among Protestant clergy are between 2 and 10 times greater than among Roman Catholic clergy. A 2000 report to the Baptist General Convention warned that sexual abuse perpetrated by Baptist clergy had reached "horrific proportions." Few media outlets carried the story. Among the psychologists who once advised the Church to rehabilitate priests in the 80s and who now criticize the Church for failing to deal with the realities of sexual desire, an estimated 3 to 12 percent have been found guilty of sexually abusing their patients.

In New York City, it is estimated that nearly one child a day is sexually abused by a school employee. While the media have rightfully criticized the handful of bishops who moved abusive priests between parishes, albeit while also inaccurately making these bishops' actions seem the norm, few have criticized the New York City public school system for failing to discipline 61% of admitted abusers. Teachers' unions have been careful to protect members from warranted disciplinary action, earning them a tacit nod from the New York Times. The Vatican, however, received a fierce storm of criticism for allowing Bernard Cardinal Law, the former archbishop of Boston, to fulfill his cardinalatial duties by saying Mass for the repose of the late pope's soul.

What has been termed an epidemic of abuse involves only 4% of priests according to the John Jay study, less than the offense rate among Protestant clergy and far less than the offense rate among married laity (Catholic and non-Catholic alike). Most alarmingly, the Jenkins study found that not all accused priests are guilty. According to his estimates, only about 0.2% of priests are guilty of sexual abusing a minor. But because of the atmosphere created by media allegations of sexual misconduct and the Roman Catholic Church's attempts to cover up the scandals, it is difficult for priests and bishops to defend themselves against false accusations. The media threaten to destroy the credibility of the Church, activist groups are encouraging withholding donations to the Church, starving the Church's social welfare groups of funds and most dangerously, American Catholics are losing faith in their religion. Meanwhile the media gives sympathetic and uncritical coverage to lawsuit-happy accusers looking to make a quick fortune in the Age of Litigation. Dorothy Rabinowitz details the sad story of one priest who faced an overzealous detective who denied him constitutional protections, an ambitious prosecutor who manufactured evidence for a chance in the spotlight and a slew of accusers who "remembered" instances of abuse once the priest's de facto life sentence was handed down by a judge oblivious to glaring loopholes in the accuser's story. With a hostile media criticizing, greedy reprobates hurling false accusations and a society that denigrates your lifestyle, one can hardly wonder why so few men today are choosing to become priests.

Ethics Return to House

2005-04-27T10:40:00.000-07:00

The Associated Press is carrying this story about Speaker Hastert's (R-IL) push to remove language in House ethics rules objectionable to Democrats. Democrats charge that the rules change has made it easier for Republicans to protect members of their party. Republicans believe that the rules change protects House members from false allegations.

Democrats have been using the rules change to their favor to accuse Rep. Tom DeLay (R-TX) of House ethics violations when he unwittingly traveled on informational junkets paid for by lobbyists. The media has jumped on the bandwagon, attacking Rep. DeLay without acknowledging that Democrats had blocked a House Ethics Committee investigation in "protest" of the rules change. By repealing the rules change, Republicans are ensuring that Democrats no longer have any reason to block launching an investigation into DeLay's alleged violations, which should give DeLay the opportunity to explain himself publicly to the House Ethics Committee. It remains to be seen if the media will still cover this story when DeLay explains his behavior and allow him the chance to improve his poll numbers, which negative news reports have butchered.

The Issues

2005-04-27T00:41:00.000-07:00

Zeus over at Cerberus Rex posted a witty rejoinder to those wonderfully open-minded liberals who say "nay" to gay Republicans. In the interests of diversity, I thought I'd see where I fit in the Republican party à la his point-by-point analysis:

Economics: Capitalism turns me on.
Death Penalty: Buzzzzzzzz.
Gun Control: Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Affirmative Action: Helping minorities (except Asians) feel bad about themselves since 1965.
Foreign Policy: Our first big difference. I believe in traditional Republican realism rather than Wilsonian utopianism. The foreign policy initiatives of Bush père and Reagan are much more attractive to me than the boondoggles of Clinton and Bush fils.
Racial Profiling: Like old Mormon grannies are going to be blowing up planes anytime soon.
Homeland Security: Is anyone really against having a safer homeland?
Immigration: If you'd please all make your way to the exits...
Pro-Israel: Second difference. Historically the Republican party, placing value in the protection of national sovereignty, opposed the UN's decision to arbitrarily cut up the Palestinian Mandate and call it a new country. If Israel has a right to defend itself now, the Palestinians had a right to resist Zionist terrorists and UN coercion.
Education: I'm sure lazy Washington bureaucrats and entrenched teachers' unions really understand the educational needs of children in Boise. Education is the prerogative of local governments, not distant bureaucrats trying to impose a one-size-fits-all solution.
Environment: I'm all for protecting the environment with commonsense market-based solutions that protect the earth while meeting human needs. But if the choice is between some smelly old elk in Alaska and bringing down my gas prices, someone will be getting a lovely elk jacket for Christmas.
Stem Cell Research: Human progress is not dependent upon taking every route available to man regardless of its moral implications. Progress is human achievement with respect to ethical norms. Just because embryonic stem cells exist, does not mean that they could outperform umbilical, fat or placental stem cells. Research can and should focus on working with stem cells in a way that benefits life, not destroys it.
Abortion: Conservatism is about recognizing the rights of the individual from beginning to end. A consistent philosophy would demand a recognition of the inherent rights of the individual protecting them from murder, even prior to physical birth. Abortion isn't about choice, it's about the most fundamental human right, the right to live.
Gay Marriage: It's not just about religion. Marriage is as much a cultural institution as it is a religious institution. If we're ever going to achieve marriage parity, we can't dismiss marriage traditionalists as religious whackos. Until we dialogue with those beliefs, we will lose the marriage argument for years to come.
Separation of Church and State: Yet another figment of the liberal imagination like conservative media bias, CIA drug dealers and Ben Affleck's talent. The right of Protestants to pray in class doesn't impinge on my right to condemn them to hell, nor does it infringe upon the rights of Jewish AV clubbers to form a minyan while the Muslim students pray in the hall.

So I deviate from the Republican norm in only 2 cases as opposed to Zeus' 5. Obviously this means I am the blogger.com standard bearer for gay Republicanism. You can all disregard Cerberus Rex from here on out.

Huh?

2005-04-20T12:52:00.000-07:00

2004 will be remembered as the year that voting blocs died. There is an awareness growing among the various minority groups that their traditional political allies have abandoned them. Catholics are realizing that the Democrats are more beholden to abortion rights extremists than to the working class families who believe that the right to life is the key to a socially just world. African-Americans have begun to see that the DNC may smile and nod whenever blacks speak, but prefers to ignore them when they get uppity and openly declare their interest in family values and religious rights. Even the Christian Right has begun to realize that the GOP is not necessarily friendly to evangelical demands and has begun to demand acquiesence on culturally conservative issues from the national party as a prerequisite to evangelical support for fiscally conservative legislation. You know omething's afoot when 44% of Hispanics vote for a party that traditionally favors immigration control, race-blindness and English-only education.

In this climate of change, many gay men and women are questioning queer allegiances to left-wing groups and realizing that their interests lie closer to the center and right. As the gay community matures, it is shedding the mantle of radicalism that cloaked the sagacity of their calls for equal treatment in obscurantist, liberal rhetoric. The Human Rights Campaign waged a very public liberal effort to remove George W. Bush from the White House and yet a greater proportion of gays voted for the incumbent than did blacks or Jews. In the face of failure, the nation's largest gay rights group has ignored the message the political center has sent in approving marriage amendments and has instead lurched to the left believing that revolutionary statements and calls for Progressives to unite against American democratic majorities will have broad and lasting appeal.

If change is to come, it will not come from the left with its polemics and breathless hyperbole. The hearts and minds that remain unmoved by the discrimination faced by the gay community lie within the conservative heartland. And from among their ranks the crusaders for equality will come. They will speak the language of common sense, of justice and of liberty. And the more people there are standing behind them, the louder their voice will be heard.

It's important that gay men and women realize being gay and conservative aren't heterodox, as much as the media would like to claim. Being born with an attraction to the same sex doesn't automatically come with a membership card to the DNC, a penchant for fair trade coffee and a subscription to The Nation. There are lots of gay Republicans, and ones with stronger conservative credentials than Andrew Sullivan. There's the Log Cabin Republicans. There's the head of the National Republican Senatorial Committee, a proud gay man. There are two officers of the Republican National Committee who are publicly gay, holding positions more powerful and prestigious than any the Democrats have awarded homosexuals. In truth, Washington, DC gays hold better positions, wield much more influence in the GOP than among the Dems (so much for us being homophobic). Then there's me, doing my little part to show the world that you can be gay, Republican and proud. I might be standing athwart of history yelling stop, but things are mighty easier when there are people behind me, backing up my limp wrist.